S4E34 When married women catch strays from single women

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Speaker 2 (0s): All right, bowls and bow ties. So look, I'm not gonna have a whole lot of time. I know I'm in a different situation here. Excuse the background in my house. This is what it looks like in real life. That area right there. Wait, I never get, look at this backwards. Okay? That one little area is always a disaster, and the rest can see, well, the rest of my house is basically clean But. anyway, so look, I just wanna get onto into it real quick. Since yesterday, I put up that video about, or was it Wednesday?

I can't remember about the single versus married. So in my previous video, which I will hopefully link in there, I talked about how, you know, yeah, like I think the, the, the single women just basically want the same respect as married women. Now, if you didn't catch the whole video, just the title alone is gonna be like, oh, heck no. But what I was saying in that video was, I get it right. Like oftentimes a single woman's value will be in comparison to like a man or in proximity to a man.

And so she won't be viewed as valuable as like a married woman. So I can understand that angry sentiment. But what I do wanna say is this, I just wanted to circle back to this. You guys can catch the video. I'll make sure that I put it in at the end of this video. The thing that seems to be running rampant right now is most of the married women I know don't get out here on these apps. They barely could even use 'em, okay? They don't have the cycles for it. Are there some who aren't happy?

Probably. Are there some who are happy? As far as I know, yeah, they are. And what happens is, you know, somebody will get a study And, they won't do any sort of real analysis and say like, all of you marry, women are unhappy. I'm like, I am I didn. Know I was unhappy. So what I'm seeing is there's a lot of single women who are taking shots at married women, which is like really uncool. And so I just found like a couple of random, like tiktoks, just so people don't think I'm making it up.

And this isn't like everything, but I'm just gonna give you like a few examples of some of the things that I have seen. So you don't think I'm just making it up. Let me see. Here's this one. all right? Okay. And you guys see some of the other ones that are, let me see, was this the one?

Oh, here's another one. There's

Speaker 3 (3m 0s): My stocking over there. It's your stocking. Golden got a stocking. Whose is this? That's an extra one. Is this an extra one? No, that's mine. Why is it up to you? I don't know. Santa didn't come for me.

Speaker 4 (3m 23s): For all the men out there that wonder why more and more single women are deciding that they don't want children, that they don't wanna be married. I want you to remember that video right there.

Speaker 2 (3m 33s): Okay? So I just wanted to, all right, so I just wanna stop right there for a second. So I showed you the first video with the kids. The lady was feeding them, they were out, and the husband was on his phone. Now, if you don't have the context of that video, he could look like a douche, right? Or, I remember there were times when my, my kids wanted to eat just with me, right? Not with daddy. And he was like, come on, come on, come on. But for whatever reasons, it could have been something that I had was different.

I don't know. They're like, no, I want mommy's food. Like, you know how it's I was like, all right, everybody come over here, or whatever. I don't know. It could have been anything, right? And so he is like, all right, well, fine. But what they don't show is there were times like, I know like back when my kids were younger, they would all be on Daddy and I would get a break. And if you caught just that snapshot in time, it looks like just dad. Like what kind of mother is she? Right? Because well, maybe they were like, well, we want daddies because, because now I know that's not the norm.

What I'm saying is this, it's easy for me to go out and just curate content that shows all of these women who are married, who are in these single relationships, right? Because that's what they're, they're saying it's like, we're also unhappy. And this, that, and the other, And, they all get out on these, the, these high horses. But if I wanted, is this the one? Let me see. I might have, I might, let me see if I can show this as an example. I so look, so look, if I wanted, sorry about that.

I'm trying to bring it up. If I wanted to show you the flip side of being single. Now, do I think everybody is living like this? No. but I could get out here and say, see, this is what it's like being single. Now look at this one.

Speaker 5 (5m 31s): I,

Speaker 2 (5m 37s): Oh, I don't like the language I should have. I meant to take off the, I meant to take off the, what you call it, the sound there. But look at this. Oh, go back. Go back. So you got this young lady sitting here, okay? You got a young lady going through it. Now, if I wanted to, I could easily say, see, this is why you wanna hurry up and get married. Because look at these single women, they're all so miserable, right?

I'm seeing if I can bring up something else. I'm just trying to prove a point here. Okay, let me see. Does this have, what is what's going on here with this? I'm gonna bring up another one. all right? I hope it doesn't have Now. I mean, what is that?

Let's go back here. Now, what am I supposed to take away from that? She, she could be single because maybe she lives in an area that doesn't have a lot of men. She could be single because maybe she's just not a nice person. She could be single because maybe she lives in the area where the preponderance of the men are single. And it could be anything, right? This is what I wanna say. You got a lot of single women getting out here speaking on married women relationships.

And what I think that single women should do, this is just my opinion, is they should focus on single lives. They should focus on, people talk about like why they enjoy being single then do that. But what they'll do is they will take a shot at married women. Well, I wanna be single because all of these women are in these relationships with men and they're really single anyway. Or they're just working just to take care of these men.

All, all, all kinds of stuff. Instead of saying, Hey, you know why I enjoy being single, it's because right now I just want to really maximize my free time. That's not a shot at anybody. I wanna maximize my free time. I want to focus my energy on being more connected to God or whatever like that, right? That's not taking a shot at another group of people in order to exalt themselves.

And so what happens is there's a lot of confirmation bias happening. Now, that's not to say that some of the things that are being discussed aren't happening, that they're not true, right? But what I find is just so odd that it's like you get a bunch of single women out here who I'm like, wait a second, you know that you're amazing. Why are you taking shots at other people? Why do you feel the need to denigrate other people's relationships and lives? And oh, by the way, just just because you see a glimpse in time when people are going through it, because raising children, it's tough.

It is tough, right? If you're talking about somebody who's married with children, which is different than someone who's married without children, I know dinks, which is dual income, no kids or whatever, or men who are married in, in, in and have a wife. That doesn't work. I know people who don't have children. Well, I think they're mostly dinks though. And, they don't take shots at single people. They live their lives. They're happy. you know what they say? They say, you know what? Some of them wanted children and it didn't work out for them.

Some of them don't have any children, and they're at the point in their life where, okay, I guess we kind of like, it just didn't work out. Like they're, they're like, good, right? And, they like things like, you know what? I just want to ride my motorcycle and do these things, right? And, they do things with each other. And, they do things without each other. And. they never once take a shot at single people. And. they don't take shots at married people with children. I know people who live their lives like this, but what I am finding, it's mostly the singles.

Even some of these blacked out weird old men too. But it's single women getting out here talking so bad about marriages and relationships. And I'm like, well, why don't you start trying to find people to find and content that is more like what you would want? Instead of saying, I don't wanna be married because of these, these things. I'm like, well, who's not? Everybody's living like that. Lemme tell you something.

A lot of times you'll see me like if I'm on my way to work, or you'll see me like I, think I put out a video yesterday. I was at, I was at a practice from one of my kids. But what you didn't see was my husband sometimes who's all, well, he was coaching one of my other kids at another practice. But if you took just that context and just that one video, it looks like, oh, Bo is just out here where her kids' like, she's always doing this. Well, I got a lot of kids. Do you know what's happening? He's also doing that too. And then we come home and we sync up and sometimes we Kiki and hee-haw together.

And sometimes we don't, sometimes we're like, Hey, I'll catch you tomorrow. Like, we're tired, right? Well, we'll sync up later on today. What's gonna happen when I get off of this? I'm gonna go upstairs and do my hair, make sure my daughter's hair's done, because she has a tournament today. My son or one of my kids. Anyway, he, he's, well, actually he's game already started. He's in the middle of a game. My husband is one of the coaches. My husband is hands on. Did he always start off like that way? No. It was a process. And then he became very hands-on very hands-on with the kids.

And by the way, we are both working professionals. And what I'm saying is, if you've got people who are getting on this app, And, they are engaging in confirmation bias by purposefully choosing the same type of content. That is a different type of movement that is no different than what the whacked out weirdo manosphere does when they get out there And, they pull the same type of girl that they interview or whatever. This is why I stopped watching that stuff, right? Like, I never really got into it anyway. But like when they cur they get the same type of women that fits the narrative that they wanna speak about.

That's what these women, a lot of these single women are doing. They're finding some of the worst relationships, the worst representation of partnership. And then they put that on there and say, this is the reason why, you know, stay single and, and don't, and I'm sitting there thinking like, why are you sitting there trying to, it's like they're trying to tear down relationships. And don't get me wrong, some of these relationships out here are not healthy. but I would say you should be more focused on trying to figure out praying for these relationships, praying for clarity, praying for compromise.

And, and I'm not saying every, look, if you don't believe in God, then that that's on you. That's fine. What I am saying is this, I am seeing single women who are, are claiming to be really happy, letting, I guess, marry women run rampantly through their minds because they seem to make a lot of content about married women.

Married women don't really get out here on these apps, especially the ones who are busy and they're living their best lives. They don't get out here and sit there and talk about single women. They don't, which lets me believe that you know what? Oh, I think you protest too much. 'cause I've never seen people who are so happy focus on the unhappy lives of somebody else, or the supposed unhappy lives of someone else. Never, never, never, never.

It's so weird. And I don't I think that there is a blind spot. So I'm gonna say it again. A lot of the single women who are getting out here talking about how happy they are, usually it's in proximity to comparing their lives to a married woman. I'm just saying like, there are pros and cons of both sides. I don't think being single is a horrible thing at all. But you're not gonna hear me get out here and talk about why you don't wanna be single.

You wanna be married. It depends on what you're looking for. If, if someone were to tell me, give me, and I'm gonna say off the top of my head, give me three reasons why you enjoy being married. I don't know. I guess that's a question. This, this is off script here. I mean, my first thought would be, I have a built-in friend. I have a built in friend.

Now, does that mean there isn't conflict at times? Well, not like conflict, but you know what I mean. Does that mean that we don't disagree? Well, you're gonna disagree with your friends whether you're married or not, right? I have a built in friend and there's nothing like sharing some of the stupidest corniest jokes that only we would get. Like, but sometimes it is like, you know, my husband isn't mess, but like, I have a built in friend. What else?

Honestly, this might sound so silly, but I. think about like, you know what? It's great that we have a plan and we can build towards our retirement because we have other ideas and plans. you know what we like, we enjoy watching our children go through the developmental cycles, right? Like, there's times when they get on our nerves. There's times when we watch them do something And, they secede. Whether it's academically, whether it's in sports, just as a like human characters and qualities.

When you get something back, like one of my neighbor friends hit me up in email the other day and she said, you know, so and so said good morning to me. Now, the the, the act of somebody saying, good morning is that big of a deal, but what she was getting at was like, I love how you're raising 'em. Like, they're just so polite. They're not always, but it, it made me feel great. Maybe that's a selfish thing, but just feeling like, you know what, I'm trying to raise kids of good character and I don't always get it right.

Speaker 0 (16m 29s): Let's take a quick break

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Speaker 2 (17m 16s): But see me giving my reasons for what I'm enjoying has nothing to do with tearing down a single person. But if you get out here on these apps, you get out here, especially on TikTok. Let me tell you something. I have like some other examples. Oh, let me play this. If you get out here on these apps, these women, I don't, they are coming hard for, for women say that they support

Speaker 7 (17m 40s): Women,

Speaker 2 (17m 40s): But yeah, let me see, I I gotta bring this up. They, they, they, their psycho, this woman said something that I really, yeah, I like, I like what she had to say.

Speaker 8 (17m 53s): Women say that they support women, but they only support single women. Women don't support married women. They love to be divisive and divide the woman from the man and make the husband the enemy so that she could be a single mother just like y'all.

Speaker 2 (18m 7s): Oh, hey, I'm just saying, oh, what is this? Oh, I like this tra wife thing that's in my feed right now. This, it's hilarious. Let me see, what else? Let me see. What else? Oh, here's another one. Let me see. I'm gonna put this on here. Can y'all see this still?

Speaker 9 (18m 30s): Yeah, girl, I talked about that on my Instagram. How there are many married women who are single moms and single moms not in the sense of like a single mom. I don't wanna disrespect any single mothers. However, there are married women who are in their partnerships and primarily doing a thousand percent of the child, child rearing. And so that is essentially like a married woman who is a single mom.

Speaker 2 (19m 4s): So anyway, what I'm getting at with a lot of this was I can curate any and any, any and everything that I want to, to fit a narrative. All I know is there are plenty of women who are out here on this app, and I was just like, holy cow, this is becoming crazy. It's becoming crazy. They're getting out on this, this app, and they're coming for all the, the married women, I have never seen so much of it.

Like I said, if you are happy and single and I ask you tell me something that you like about being single, I'm telling you right, what, what, what is going on upstairs? You should be able to say, you know what I like, and it should have nothing to do with what a married woman is doing or not doing. I'm just naming it Anyway, I just wanted to get some of that off my chest. I mean, it wasn't like a well put together thought, right?

I was like, I'm gonna run this really quickly before I have to start with my day. It's gonna be a long day. So I, I just wanted to get that off my chest. This is the thing I wanna say and go on the record. Like, honestly, there are some super dope single women out here in these streets. They really are amazing. And the ones who are not caught up, like they do go on live their lives, they really do.

And, they have a lot to offer in companionship. They have a lot to offer in their career. They have a lot to offer in their like, friendships, relationships. They have a lot to offer to their community. The ones who are happy, from what I can see, they, they don't get on this app and, and talk the way a lot of these women are talking. And I can, I have more and it's not worth me pulling it up. I think you guys get the sentiment. I just wanted to say, there are so many women who get out here on this app and they're tearing down married women, married relationships.

I don't understand it. It's kind of like psycho because married women are not going after single women. They're not. I haven't seen a whole bunch of videos like that. And let me tell you something. When it started coming in my feed, all I kept getting was a whole bunch of the same women getting out here talking about don't marry men. Don't, don't, don't deal with black men, don't get married, period. Well, don't marry men, but they're like, don't marry after this age. It was a bunch of, and they're saying that they're not angry, but they are.

Even the way they're speaking, it is such vitriol. I'm like, all right, well just, just live your life. But to sit there and to tell a bunch of women, I was just like, this is crazy. And lemme just say for this, did that even make sense coming out my mouth? Let me say for this, like, what does that even mean? I'll say this, I think that many women are engaging in shain fraud or shain fraud, which is basically taking pleasure or delight in someone's demise, right?

So it was almost as if like, I, all I keep thinking about is the Simone Biles situation. Her, her, her husband, who was a dingling, the way he spoke about her, and I don't expect many men to, to get or catch what happened there. but yeah, he made some gaffes. But you've got women out there like, see, I told you he doesn't want you. Just look at his old Instagram page. I'm like, okay, well look at this point, there was something in her that intrigued him, right?

So by me saying that, people are like, oh, now you're being a pick me. I'm like, sometimes you gotta weed out the noise. I'm like, look, there's something about her he liked and wanted. There's something about him that she liked and wanted, and it's not necessarily perfect, but what we do is you try to make sure you give them tools and help them to succeed in a relationship versus saying, run. I can't speak to the complexities of the relationship. I don't follow their relationship.

Okay? So I, I don't know. I, I don't, I don't know anything. What I do know is instead of trying to tear down that relationship, one of two things, either help them succeed or mind your business. These are young adults, but they're adults. And so they have to have room to make their mistakes. And if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. but I, right now, I feel like you got a bunch of single women who are the ones who did the most talking about this out here waiting for their demise.

And that's not cool. And then you got a whole bunch of women out here talking about, this is what I won't do this. And I'm like, why are you worried about what's going on in their relationship? Worry about what's going on in your life. I think is, is, is getting outta control. And what, like I said, what they're not recognizing is they're out here looking at the same whacked out weirdo or, or, or problematic relationships and using that as the template, as if like all like as boiler, boiler boilerplate for all marriages.

And I'm like, they're no different than the whacked out weirdo manosphere getting out there pulling the same type of silly girl or whatever it is. And they're all getting up there, getting their microphones and, and getting, I don't know, on their little platforms and, and yammering about nothing. They look so stupid to me. This is what the women are doing. They're doing the exact same thing, different topic. I said what I said. all right. Okay, I, think that's it.

Have a good one. I need to go do my hair. I need to do my daughter's hair and start my day. all right. Bye.

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