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Regular episodes drops every Tuesday and when the spirit hits.
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Speaker 2 (0s): Morning bows and bow ties. I was trying to catch a last little bit of some online bedside. Baptist, you know, let the church say amen. you know, when you know, you know. Right. So look, I wanna just circle back to this color or something for a second, because I know a lot of people are weighing in on the Amanda Seals interview, and there's a lot of things that are being said. I actually caught some commentary, and this is the thing, I just wanna talk about a few things in terms of just bright skin, light skin, fair skin, all all, whatever.
I'm, I'm gonna lean in on this just for a second, and I know this may be triggering for some people, and I get it. And people are allowed to be triggered because we all have triggers. Let me just say this. Number one, I wrote down a few things. I feel like whenever someone speaks about being skinned in their treatment or their, how they're perceived, it is, is always like dismissed. Feelings are always invalidated. They do, they, I mean, I'm listening to what they're doing with Amanda and I.
think what happens is there are multiple things that could be happening at the same time. She can not, not be a very nice person or can be unaware of how she shows up in this world, but also experiences the other side of colorism. Now, I'm not saying there's such thing as reverse colorism, so I don't want anybody go try to run off with that. That's not what I'm saying. But when colorism presents, there's a person who was being affected And, they, and then the person who's affected their response to that.
And so I don't know why that interview some of the things that she said, it resonated with me. Oh, absolutely. And what happens is when you say something there is like people place you in a box. I've said in many other videos how people used to perceive me when I stayed home and how people would perceive me in relation to my husband, et cetera, et cetera, right? There is a perception of who they thought I was. Like people didn't know I was educated, people didn't know that I was a thoughtful person.
Now, there's always gonna be somebody who can get out here and try to refute something that I'm saying. They can try to go slice up something or cut up some clips or whatever it is, And. they can paint it to fit their narrative. What I am saying is oftentimes when somebody who is fair skinned, when they are speaking their opinions, their thoughts, what is going on? Okay, well they, they will be invalidated. They'll be invalidated, okay? So I just wanna say for the record, I don't think she leaned in on her skin tone too much.
I think there were multiple things happening with Amanda Seals. But when I see the commentary surrounding it, it's not so much as how much she's spending on the co the topic, it's what other people are saying. I'm like, well, wait a second. So whenever I would say something, back in the day, everything was always invalidated, everything. I'm not saying I was affected in terms of like I experienced colorism, but I know what it's like to experience that other side from people who have been affected by colorism.
I have all kinds of stories that's neither here nor there. This isn't like the oppression Olympics, right? So I don't wanna get into that. But what I do wanna say is if people wanna have any sort of healing and sisterhood or whatever like that, then we need to hear everybody's voices. It doesn't mean you have to agree with everything, but I feel like there's like a lot going on, which is gonna lead me to, sorry, I had to write down my, a couple of points so I can get my point across. I have to leave out in about 13 to 15 minutes. I feel like what happens is, because people will paint women who look a certain way in a category, there's a lot of shaming, there's a lot of guilting.
I said, what? I said, there's a lot of shaming, there's a lot of guilting. Okay? So what I'm saying is that I have experienced this myself. I have done this. I felt like in the past, the young grown, now, you know, I, I'm not, but in the past people would feel like guilt. It's kind of like, this is gonna be a really bad analogy and I know I'm gonna get ate up for this, but you know how like a whole lot of white people have a lot of white guilt and then they're afraid to say anything. but I feel like sometimes like they should speak in order to gain understanding, right?
Well, what I am seeing is when dealing with topics like interracial topics such as colorism features and that type of thing, what happens is you get a lot of light-skinned women who won't speak up on certain things. They're shamed because they were born a certain way. They are shamed because they're born a certain way. Now, you guys probably have realized in recent times, if you notice, I don't do a lot with edges and laying stuff down. This is how my hair grows out. Now, if I go get it professionally done, it's just as silky as everybody else and it's flowing in the wind.
But I'm not caught up. I don't care that much because I'm just on some of the kinda stuff right now. The point I'm making is when I would do those things and when my hair would get professionally done, you know, everyone would paint me in a certain category like, are you this? Are you that? I'm like, I'm a regular role black person. But with that came a lot of stereotypes of who they thought I was. Oh, you must think you're this. But I'm just kind of like, wait a minute. How did you jump and leap to that conclusion number one? Or you think you're cute? I'm like, well, why wouldn't I think I'm cute? Like what?
But what you'll see is there's a lot of shaming and a lot of guilting, there's a lot of self-censorship happening there too. When things start to happen, when there are any kind of interesting conversations going on, right? People don't want to hear from, oh, look at that poor little light skinned girl there. They don't wanna hear that. They don't want to hear what you've experienced too, right? Because you're still seen as a black woman by the rest of society, maybe slightly more palatable depending on who you talk to. But even that's kind of changing too.
That's changing too, because now when people are wanting to deal with a black woman, they wanna deal with the skinned black woman. They wanna deal with everybody, everything. The point I'm making is there's a lot of shaming and guilting going on. So what happens is you'll find that a lot of light-skinned women will not speak up on things. They will self-censor. Because the people who have been affected by colorism, who have been mistreated due to colorism, why is this braid sticking up? They don't want to hear from anyone else. They want just their voice to be the only voice and the biggest voice in the room.
And I think that if we're going to have any sort of healing and any sort of healthy relationship, then we have to make room for all the voices, however uncomfortable it may be. I said what I said I. think what happens is when, one of the things I wanted to talk about too is a lot of like really light-skinned people or people with light eyes. you know, I got it all on my family, right? So you'll have people with, I don't know, various hair textures, eye colors, get whatever it is.
I feel like what happens is people will claim that you don't understand. And it's like a really weird position to be in because you're not black enough or dark enough, right? You're not, to some people, even though I'm like you, literally, I literally am like a black person, right? But you're not a white person. You're not something else. And so what happens is anything that you wanna say about the treatment of black people, various shades of brown, et cetera, but you have to say is not welcomed, is not valid.
You're not black enough, you don't have enough melanin in your skin, or your hair isn't kinky enough or whatever it is, right? Fix my little points down. Wait, opposite side. There we go. Yeah, cute. So anyway, what is happening here? So anyway, you'll find that a lot of those kinds of things starts happening. you know, I just feel like what happens is at this point, you'll get somebody who's fair, skinned, skinned, whatever you wanna, I a red bone, I don't know, pick whatever weirdo name you got for these people and they'll put you in this category where they don't want you to talk.
You're shamed into silence. You can't speak up on anything. Your opinions are not valid. You're not black enough. They put you in a role of somebody like, oh, all these light women, or whatever it is, they're weak, they're this, they're that. But as soon as you speak up, as soon as you assert yourself, as, as soon as you operate with a level of assuredness about yourself, as as soon as you walk in the shoes that God has ordered for you, whatever it is, and you are firm, you're assertive, now you're stuck up.
You are a bee, you're all these things. So I look at somebody like Amanda Seals, honestly, she could be nicest pie and say no. I mean, I'm not saying she doesn't have some mess about her, but I do know she can't win. There's no way she can win. And then on top of the fact that she's such an oddball anyway, it's even worse. But the fact that she chooses to express herself intelligently people, they don't like that. They don't like it.
So what they're gonna do is they're gonna find a whole lot of things to nitpick. And some of them are, you know, I get, I get right because she can. She's herself. I like Amanda Seals, but the point I'm getting at is it's so easy to sit there and take shots at her. So when she is operating with a level of authority or assuredness or whatever like that, she's a lot of bad things. There was, there's nothing she's gonna be able to do. There's nothing. Not one thing. She is not gonna win over the public. She's definitely not gonna win over darker skinned black people.
It's not gonna happen. 'cause they're gonna be like, 'cause look at the way you look and this, that and the other. No, no. She can't win this argument no matter what she does or what she says, people are going to go in hard on her. Think about how many people don't like Giselle Bryant now does. Giselle Bryant from the Real Real Housewives of Potomac. She's a mess. She is a mess.
But let me just say this, you don't typically see her getting that far in the gutter. Now has she done some messed up things? Yes, but there's a lot of women on the, on that show that have done a lot of messed up things. But there are so many people who are invested in not liking her because she has green eyes and and light skin. They are invested in not liking this woman. I said, what? I said, it doesn't matter what she does. She can go out there and cure cancer and, and help babies and invent a perpetual source of, of, of, of potable water and, and, and pat and perpetual gravity And.
they still won't like her because they're invested in not. Anyway, so what I would say is oftentimes now when I hear people say things like I think there's a lot of stereotypes that could go into being light and everything like that. You can't voice your your opinion on the fact that, hey, I, maybe I got a position because I'm talented too. And this is what I would say I think a lot of people who are light do have some sort of access advantage, maybe, is that what I want to call it?
But oftentimes people will say, you got this only because you're, you're you're light skinned or something. I'm like, well I think that that gave access sometimes. But it could also mean that people are talented, they're intelligent, blah blah, blah. I'm just calling a thing, a thing. They will stereotype the crap outta you. They think that you're weak, that you're a dumb dumb, that you're only getting by for certain things. They disregard your opinion. I know it because it has been done to me. And then what happens is when you get sick and tired of people running their mouth and you, you wanna like course correct this ship, right?
And you're like, well wait a second. No, let's, let's, let's talk about this for a second. And you can provide very interesting commentary. You can provide point by point, bullet by bullet. You can provide very interesting competing arguments. And then they look at you like, oh, you're this, you're that. I'm like, no, no, no. So you can't have it both ways. See, when I was quiet and when I was silent, you were happy. And then when I am voicing my opinion on things, you don't like it. I am all these things, you can miss me with that Anyway, I just feel like what's happening right now is people don't want to hear from light women because they I think they feel like this is the oppression Olympics.
I'm like, no, if you wanna have a real colorism conversation, you have to have everybody in the room. You have to have dark women and light women in the room because they have to hear the ways in which maybe they're moving, right? Because that's not to say that people who are lighter skinned, lighter skin don't have a blind spot. I think some of them are aware. I think some of them are not. But also there's a way that they have been treated for so that I can for so long that I can see how people are moving in a certain manner, in a certain certain direction too.
Because they're like, I'm not dealing with this. I'm not dealing with this. So what happens is you put a hedge of protection around yourself. I know I did for the longest time. They're like, how come you don't wanna come talk and hang out with so-and-So, 'cause I'm like, some of these people are psycho, they don't have my best interests at heart. I look, I can get into all kinds of stories and I'll leave you with this one. And then I gotta go because it's 9 28 and I'm supposed to be meeting my neighbors for some breakfast before I have to take my kids off to some games and such.
When I was a sophomore, I believe it was sophomore, I was a sophomore in college, I was friends with, we're gonna call this one girl T And long story short, without all the gory details, I was cool with this girl T she was dark skinned didn, didn't see anything wrong with her. What I didn't know was apparently she was interested in some guy that I didn't even know.
I didn't, I mean, I, I may have known him, I don't know. I was getting to know a completely different guy who probably was cheating on me anyway because I wasn't trying to put out, but there was some guy she was interested in and apparently word got out there. Apparently he was interested in me. didn didn't even know the guy didn't know anything about it. And you know what this, this chick did? She went around spreading a rumor that I was interested in her like, like some sort of lesbian.
I'm like, come again. It got back to me. Now, fortunately, most people, well everybody knew it was a lie because the people who knew knew I was halfway talking to this other guy. And I'm just sitting here thinking like, why would you do something like that without all the other stuff in between? I'm just giving you the high level details. She flat out just made up with story that I was interested in women, I was interested in her And. they were like, you know what, that's about right. She likes this guy, you know, homie likes you. I'm like, well who is this guy? And, and how am I supposed to know?
Because he didn't share that with me. Or, or if he did. I I, I didn't know I was too busy doing I was, I was playing the sport and I was in IOTC 'cause I was on our ROTC scholarship. So I didn't have a whole lot of cycles to dedicate to the shenanigans. Anyway, needless to say, why do my shoulders look all off? Like, it's just weird. Anyway, so needless to say, that's the kind of stuff that was happening. She was a dark skinned woman who apparently this guy, I'm, I don't know what it was.
Maybe he liked the only light women. I, I don't know all the details in between 'cause I've, I've forgotten most of it. But she went out there and spread, spread rumors and she made some sort of comment about my skin tone. I'm like, well, if I was light, it's her or some something stupid. I and I was just like, okay, so my skin tone caused you to make up a lie, to go spread a rumor that I was a lesbian and I wanted to talk to you. And I'm sitting here talking to some dude, I was like, needless to say, we stopped talking and hanging out because it, it was just too much.
And sh I, I knew she was embarrassed and people were talking about it. They were like, why would you even do something like that? And everybody knew was like shenanigans anyway, because I didn't even know who the guy was. And, and I was and everybody knew I was trying to talk to this other guy or he was trying to talk to me. Just saying, anyway, do you understand where I'm going with this? I just feel like, I'm just gonna summarize this up. I really don't like the fact that at this point, whenever there's a conversation that involves colorism, they will assume that you don't have the range.
'cause I did see a clip of that on the Real Housewives of Potomac. I'm like, wait a second, you have a blind spot and you can talk to everybody a certain kind of way. But she wouldn't have been able to talk to me like that. I'm like, oh no, no, no, no, no, you don't get to talk to me 'cause you're the same woman who's talking about colorism. Yeah, you went and got yourself hair doesn't even match what you look like. You typically put your foundation on three shades lighter than what you are. You aren't even who you are anyway because you bought a whole new body. You don't even get to talk to me about what's real and colors and everything else because you're sitting here trying to apply European standards to what, who you are.
So miss me on that Miss having the range to talk about colorism. Oh my gosh. Anyway, I just wanted to get that out there. I know people are gonna probably try to eat me up in this and I look it is what it is. We are allowed to disagree. I can't get mad at people for disagreeing. I get annoyed as if, if you're disrespectful. I get annoyed when they start wanting to call names and stuff like that. I'm like, wait a second, just because I don't agree doesn't mean I'm X but yes, that, those are my thoughts on colorism and, and all this good stuff.
I think it's, it's I. think what happens is right now we're making this a one-sided conversation. And anytime somebody is light is in direct opposition with somebody who's not as light, it's now a colorism thing. Sometimes it is, sometimes it is, sometimes it's literally not. But if I go back, if I circle back to the Amanda Seals thing, I'll take, like I said, I don't think she can win any of these arguments. She cannot, she's also abrasive on top of everything else.
So that doesn't help her. It doesn't help her. So a lot of people are gonna go in on, you know, she's a color, she's this and I don't know, maybe they know something I don't know. But you can say something and misspeak and then that becomes like your whole persona. Everybody thinks you're all these things. You, you, you are, you know, whatever. Just like, look what happened with Ebony k Williams. She spoke with a level of authority. She spoke about the things that she wanted, the audacity of her to say that she wanted what she wanted and she thinks that people need to level up.
Now she is an elitist and all these other things. I'm like, well what do you guys want her to be? You want her to shoot low? Like the rest of you, you, most of you don't have any real standards anyway. You don't, there was no way she could win any of these arguments. Amanda Seals was not gonna be able to win. And I say that with earmarks and it doesn't help that she can be super abrasive and she does have some mess about her. She does. But like I said, the, when it comes to these conversations, when it's when you're dealing with colorism, anybody who's light will automatically be deemed as incapable of having or participating in these conversations.
And I feel like if you're gonna have a conversation about colorism, you have to have light skinned people in the room. Just like you have dark skinned people in the room. So if I were ever gonna have a really serious conversation about colorism, it does mean no good to have a conversation about colorism and there are no darker skinned people in the room. 'cause then it's not a conversation. We're just confirming each other, each other's biases. Anyway, look, I gotta go because I've got some bacon and stuff waiting for me and a mimosa and I gotta do that.
And then I gotta get my, I gotta do a kid swap today. 'cause we've got a couple of situations going on. So leave a comment. Let me know your thoughts. You can disagree. I don't care. I'm not gonna get upset as long as you're, you are not disrespectful. Don't be disrespectful. all right, go ahead and subscribe to, because I'm amazing in every way and could do no wrong.
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