S4E10 GenZ and Gen Alpha need to slow down

✅Check out my #bowthoughts on a previous video on "The obsession with Black trauma movies" https://youtu.be/4C79X7uyw0k

🎀Show your support by subscribing to the channel 👉https://www.youtube.com/@iamabowalways?sub_confirmation=1

Regular episodes drops every Tuesday and when the spirit hits.

tiktok: @iamabowalways

Transcript

Speaker 1 (0s): Good morning bows and bow ties. So the title of this was about GenZ and Gen Alpha, but I have multiple things I wanna talk about. So when I set this dream up before I left my house, I just put together a quick title. but I wanna talk about GenZ and Gen Gen Alpha first this weekend, you know, we had all the snow, right? And you know, my kids are getting big now.

I have one in college and I have three in middle school. My eighth grader, he is huge. Like he's tall, he's growing like he's about five 10 right now and he is still a young 13. He doesn't even turn 14 until right before school starts. So as big as he is. And then I have my twins in sixth grade. Let me just say this, as much as children always want to rush the growing the ification process, I'm just making it words, right?

They wanna rush. Growing up, it was actually really refreshing to see, you know, my, my children were outside with other neighborhood kids. One was in high school, like these big kids were out there having the time of their lives. In that moment, they weren't concerned about growing up. They were just out there playing games, running around, enjoying the snow, doing what kids do.

I made sure I yelled at my kids a few times about, do not track that stuff in my house. Like, you're leaving footprints from the outside of my house, like clean up at yourselves, you know, the whole nine yards. And it made me, well this morning when I got up and I was on TikTok, right? Because you know, that's what I do in the morning. In the morning I'll get on TikTok for about 10 minutes. I've started doing this, read the Bible every morning thing. And then usually before I go to bed I'll do something like that. So a lot of times when I'm thinking of these topics, it's because I just saw something on TikTok.

So I got on TikTok for about maybe 10 minutes or so this morning. And I remember seeing this, this young lady, she's in her thirties, she was talking about why, you know, late seventies, early eighties babies look a certain way. And I agree with her to an extent because we, when we were growing up, we did not rush the adulting process. You know, I'm from that generation that drank from the water hose that ran around outside that it was like I was in a gang or something.

'cause we all had our little bikes and my bike was used. Like I remember I got like a pink coffee bike. Do you remember that big old like spongy seat? Like I remember when my father got me that big old huffy bike. Like I, you could not talk to me because I, I had wheels, I had transportation. I remember when I got that big old huffy bike, you could not stop me. I was unstoppable. Unstoppable. Remember that? So when, when I was a child, you know, granted I was a tomboy, but I wasn't overly concerned about face care and all that stuff, right?

I had two pigtails or two corn rolls, you know, and, and if you're a child who looks like me, you don't know which way your ponytail or your ponytail was gonna be facing it. You know, I was just out okay. But when we were growing up, like we did things like collect garbage pail kits, cards or if you're a boy, maybe like a baseball card or something like that. And it was like awesome if we had a dollar because we could treat somebody to something at the ice ice cream trunk.

you know, you can get something for 25 cents. If we got something for 50 cents that was expensive. I already remember I used to get a bomb pop that was basically the icicle that was very white and blue in the shape of a rocket. It's a pop sickle. I remember when, you know, it was popping a lock and my mom would give us the money. She's like, bring me back a brown cow. A brown cow was the, the vanilla ice cream on the stick that was dipped in chocolate. You know, when we were cats, we were collecting things and I played the dolls too.

And we rode bikes in the big wheel and we would like try to like go really fast and then slam on the brakes so you could kind of like skid off to the side. We did the poke sticks, I played the jacks hand eye coordination. We did all that stuff. And you know, I, think about the kids nowadays, like they're trying to rush being adults. We played outside, we were in good shape. We got natural vitamin D. Now everything is like organized sports and all that kind of stuff. Don't get me wrong, my kids are in organized sports, but they, we do make, well, they go outside voluntarily.

The point I'm getting at was when we were kids, we were just kids, you know, we were kids. That's it. We made up games and used our imaginations. you know, we all got on our bikes or used our regular legs and ran like we ran with our own legs. We didn't have motorized bikes or anything like that. Everything was like you had to use, you had to like make do with what you got. Sometimes it was just your two legs, feet. And so when we look at the, the generation now, and you know a lot of people, I've seen this multiple times now, I think that word.

We were talking about how the younger generation looks so old. And I'm like, that's because they're trying so hard to be an adult instead of just enjoying being a kid. So I can come on here at 47 and I have very few now this is genetic course. When you talk about gray hair, I just cut a few gray hair out, right? Because now I can't, I can't, I'm not ready to be gray. But like, I don't hardly have any gray hair. I think I have pretty decent skin. I do have these van vanity pants.

I need things, right? I, I really like 25, but like I just feel like, you know, the kids are rushing the growing up process. And, they start looking old. Like my daughter was like, mom, can you take me to Alta or Sephora because I have to get some face stuff. She had one little tiny little pimple one time. I said, well that's just puberty. Like just wash your face with this. but I took her anyway, she has her. So-called face care set, but I made it clear to her like, you're not gonna be spending a whole lot of time in these stores 'cause you don't need to.

You're gonna use regular facial products unless it's a treat. Like she's got a gift card for Christmas to Sephora, right? So maybe I'll take her to get some like, I don't know, nail polish or something outta there, perfume or something like that. But like, no, you don't need to be a product jumpy at this age. You don't But. anyway, I just wanted to say GenZ and Gen, Alpha I think they're just trying to grow too fast. They're on social media, they're learning too quickly about adult-like things and topics.

And instead they should just be enjoying the process of growing up. Like I was listening to my daughter and her friend. They were talking about just lunch lunchroom dynamics and the, the table situation. That's to me, very age appropriate, right? That's what you do in middle school. Like, you know, depending on which table you're sitting at, it's like the F and locking table, right? So, you know, just stuff like that, you know, that's age appropriate to me like that.

That's where they're supposed to be at. Like, you know, 11 and 12 years old. You shouldn't be worrying about what's happening on social media. My daughter so desperately wants to have these, she has a TikTok channel that she's not allowed to post anything personal on. So she'll like post like a repost of something or maybe something of her plushy animals, I don't know, maybe of her carpet, I don't know. But I'm like, you don't get to post anything that's identifying a few. You don't need this right now. If I see anything like that, I take the channel away.

So of course she's not pleased with that. I just feel like they're rushing the process. And this is the reason why like 20 somethings look like they're 30. Like if you look at these young girls right now, the ones who are wearing all that makeup, they look so old. Look at Kylie Jenner. She's not a Kardashian. This girl looks so old and she's like in her early twenties, she looks so old.

I'm like, oh my gosh. Now don't get me wrong, she doesn't look bad, but she doesn't look youthful. Oh my gosh. Like when I was young, I was a total junior wood shock. I'm talking wood chalk like I was like baby. And she looks way too contour towards with sculpted and everything like that. That's what you do when you get older. And I still don't do that. I'm like, I don't want to. I don't knock it.

I think it looks great. Maybe once in a while I'll put a whole bunch on. But I'm like, no. These women who are in their twenties look so old. They put on so much makeup and so much product and don wonder why they have to be concerned about retinol and higher hyaluronic face masks. Anyway, let me move on past that. One of the other things I saw this morning was when I was growing through.

You may have heard me talk about this before, but this is the second time I've seen this in like about 24 hours. I believe it was the second time, I can't remember everything's running together. But this woman was getting on there and she was talking about being a stay at home mom. Now she didn't use those words. What she was talking about was she had visited, she had gone to the store or something and she was with her mom and somehow they ran into her mom's friend in the store.

Some older lady, not necessarily old, but older, 40, 50 years old. See I am, I'm in that age bracket, maybe 16, I don't know how old this lady was. And the lady sees the woman, I wasn't supposed to say the woman, I'm just gonna name her, her, I gotta pick up me, Heather. So the woman sees Heather and she says to her, how have you been with, with blah, blah blah? And Heather's like, well, look around. This is what I've been doing. you know, I'm happily married and I have these two children, or whatever it was.

This was years ago. She was saying she was counseling this story from years prior. So Heather, when they ran into this to this older lady, she was re counseling the, the, the, the, the interaction and how the woman was like, oh, so what up to this and the other. And so Heather was just like talking about how she was really happy and she was raising her two children. And I don't see anything wrong with that, you know? 'cause the woman was like, oh, so what we have going on? She's like, no, this is it. I'm, you know, I'm, I'm spending this time with my kids, blah, blah, blah.

And so Heather, and she tells the lady that the lady proceeds to be like, oh, now this lady that's telling the story does not look like me. Okay? So she's telling me this, she's telling us the viewer this story of how the lady was like, oh, oh, okay, well be careful. Make sure you don't have any gaps in your resume or keep your skillset up and, and all this other stuff. So Heather was recounting how when this lady told her this, that she was really offended.

Like, what do you mean I'm happily married, I'm gonna stay married forever. You guys can see where this is going. So she's like, fast forward 15 years later, here I am divorced and I don't regret being home with my children, but I do regret not having another plan. She said, you see this a lot. You see like 40 somethings having to go back to work, having to restart a career. They're starting from ground zero. Maybe they were hoping to get alimony and significant child support or whatever. And. they said, this is the thing, men are not quitting their jobs to raise these children, right?

They're still thriving in their career and their profession. And then when things don't work out, she's like, what happens? And this woman didn't look bad at all. It wasn't not bad looking at all. She's like, you know, a lot oftentimes you get older, you have these children and then they go through a midlife crisis or something And. they wanna trade in for a younger model. And here you've been at home with your children, you know, trying to nursing and, and cultivate them to help them grow up. And now they're over it and you don't have a skillset or your skills are rusty and you have these huge gaps in your resume and now you have to provide for yourself.

You have defense for yourself. And she was like, that's the biggest, one of the biggest mistakes that I, I felt like I made when I was, you know, dealing with the kids. And so she was basically saying, it's a cautionary tale about, I don't know, sorry, text just came in and distracted me. She said, it's basically a cautionary tale. Now where am I going with this? I have seen this many times and believe it or not, it's not from people who look like me, it's from people who don't look like me.

Well, I remember when I had my twins and I was home for a period of time with my twins. And I knew I was eventually gonna go back to work after several years. But I was when I started playing tennis and I would play with some relatively well to do women. And then I started hearing so many stories about some of these women who had not worked in years. They relied on her husband. Some that, well, some that may have just lived a nice life and some that were kind of well to do.

They were getting these divorces, And. they were like, what am I going to do? I have not worked. I I or I haven't worked in years, whatever my, my son is 18 or my children are getting older and what am I gonna do? My husband's hiding the money. That's how I started learning about how women we go find these forensic accountants and having to go really like look for where their money, money has been hidden. One guy who was in finances, I don't know, he was some sort of a, I don't know if it's investment bank or something.

The woman was telling me how he got really good at hiding the money to the point where they had to, where they had emptied out her son's college fund. I was like, holy the cow. So I started hearing multiple, multiple stories about this type of thing. And I was like, oh, y'all not gonna catch me out here. Because they were like, yeah, I, I was always happy until I wasn't, or until I thought my husband was cheating. Or until he decided that, you know, that maybe he made some bad investments and that he couldn't recoup.

So now he's stressed. Now he was divorced 'cause he doesn't wanna live this lifestyle that we have, but I don't even know, like, I don't know where the money is. We, he makes so much money and now we can't find any, oh you these horror stories. I'm like, no ma'am, y'all not gonna catch me out here in these streets with my pants down. With that being said, you know, in previous videos and I'd have to go find some, I have to dig these out. I've always said, look, if you wanna be home, there's nothing wrong with that.

but I do say you wanna have agency in yourself, you wanna be skilled or you wanna have that flexibility. Well, even if it's one day a week, you go do something for yourself, right? You wanna make sure that you have your foot somewhere where you can venture for yourself. If you're not like a trust fund woman or if you're not like married to like a Jeff Bezos or somebody who's very, very, very wealthy and then they gotta cut you a check or something like that, you, you need to be able to fend for yourself.

I've seen this scenario so many times, just the tennis world alone, these women are now no longer trophy wives are kept because they hit 40 and their expiration date has come up. And I'm not talking in terms of life, but I'm talking in terms of maybe being a trophy wife. Maybe the husband did something and he can't recover from it. Maybe he just fell in love with another lady. Oftentimes men will say, oh, men don't want women who are, I'm like, DS, I see that kind of thing all the time.

Men don't fool around with women that work so quickly or, or with Bimbos. I've seen it, I've seen it. And then you're like, well I can't see anything. None of my business And. they stay the heck out of that one. So. yeah. Anyway, I just wanted to say this young, well, she's not young, I guess she's closer to my age in her forties. She was a decent looking lady too, but she seemed really just like, it was such a cautionary tale because she was just like, this is not it, you know?

She was like, I thought I was gonna be married forever. I was so happily married until I was unhappily married. And then next thing you know, you know, the wheels come off. And she was just like, no, I'm out of this marriage. Then I forgot why she was outta the marriage and she's like, I had to figure out, I had to start all over. She was like, and you know I am, I'm familiar with seeing 40 somethings. Now they have to go back to work. They thought that everything was forever And. they haven't kept their skills up.

They, they, they weren't viable at the time, so now they're starting from zero. I've talked to people or teachers who took time off long periods of time, And, they realize I should probably go back to teaching or something so that I can dust off my skillset. They, they would talk about being scared. I remember when I went back after being out for about three years, it was scary. I took a significant pay cut even though when I got back to work within the first month, I knew I was like, everything starts to come back.

You dust off so much of your knowledge so quickly. but I had been out for only three years. I was outperforming people who had not stopped working. Like they were getting paid like double when I was getting paid. It was crazy. Anyway, those are the things I just wanted to talk about. you know, I wanted to talk, I just wanted to just point out that, you know, our youth needs to just enjoy being young, enjoy being young. My skin feels really good, by the way, enjoy being young.

And then also I just say to my women out there, just have agency in yourself. It doesn't mean no, you're gonna let me in jerk now, you know, I can't do that. Like this is what I'm saying. Like, I can't get over until it allows me to get over and I'm like, this guy is trying to be a jerk. Anyway, I'm sorry I had to get that off my chest. So I just feel like women need to just make sure they have agency in themselves. I'm like, enjoy, you know, being home with your children, but have some sort of plan.

Keep yourself viable. I don't care if it's one day a week. I'm not saying you have to work, but you need to make sure that you can secure some form of income or something. you know, if you're, if you're wealthy, then that's one thing, but most women are not.

...