S4E14 Monique and I agree on many many things except one thing

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Transcript

Speaker 1 (0s): Hey, bows and bow ties. So look, I had a chance to listen to the Monique and club. She, shea chitchat interview, expose, whatever you wanna call it. And let me just say this, I agree with almost everything that Monique said, but for those who have known me for any extended period of time, probably know that about me. I may have even spoken on some of the things that she has said from before I.

think on my podcast before I had a YouTube channel, I can't remember where, but let me get into what it is that I, I took away from it and things I agree, et cetera. At approximately the 49 minute, around 26 second, give or take Mark, she, she made a comment, something along the lines of, it's somewhere around that point she talked about how at some point you become what you despise.

And I guess depending on like how you don't hold people accountable, and if everything that you don't liken someone when you're not calling 'em out or whatever like that, well then eventually you'll put up with something enough that you'll start compromising your moral stuff too. But you should go check out the context of that. It's right around 49 minutes and 20 something seconds, give or take. Okay? So I definitely agree with that. And, and, and a lot of times it takes you growing up to kind of like become more disciplined in how you deal with people, how you interact with people, the standards you set for yourself, the things you will put up with.

you know, I, I really do believe that. Because the things that you don't like and you start compromising and dealing with, eventually you, you'll, you'll compromise that for yourself too. At least I believe that. I'm sure there are people who probably have a much stronger constitution and maybe they can be around like, or liars or whatever it is. But ultimately I do think that the very thing that you don't like behaviors, things or characters and people that you don't like, when you're constantly around it and you don't check it or you don't pull people accountable, you're gonna become that.

All right? This is gonna be a little out of order, but right around the two hour and 52 minute and let's say 45 second mark, give or take, she was low key calling out Oprah's relationship with Gail So. let me just say this, the context of that was basically like, how are you going to your girlfriend or if you're guy to your guide friend or whatever like that and confiding in them instead of the person that you're with.

See, the person that you should be confiding in the motive is typically your significant other. And was instead of, and so like her and Shannon were talking about how instead of Oprah going to step in is like, whatcha going to Gail for, you know? And so, you know, she kind of like calls that out. But what I wanted to say is that's true. And I very rarely talked about my relationship, but I've made mistakes where I would talk to people when I should have been talking to my husband when I was frustrated.

but yeah, definitely for the most part, let me tell you something. If I'm gonna confide in anybody, it's always in my husband first, especially the older I get, I don't confide in in randoms and definitely not my, my besties or whatever. I'm not saying I can't express myself, but I don't typically get into my relationship too much. I definitely learned that along the way. So she made that comment and it, it was a little bit of a dig, but you need to go listen to that whole portion.

It's around a two hour, 52 minutes area and maybe a little bit after, maybe 30 seconds in, maybe a little bit before. But it's around that point. And she just basically calls it out where, you know, I think she just calls out to her relationship with Gail. She, you know, you talk about the empowered woman, which is interesting because I've been struggling with how I wanted to talk about that type of topic, right? And I haven't had that video.

'cause what I was gonna originally talk about was I think like successful women. Are they lonely? but I, I don't like, I don't like putting Loneliness for Success. But the same token, it, it needs to be discussed with black women. She called it empowered women. And so, and I had some talking points behind it, but I wasn't quite sure exactly how I wanted to bring it home. And so I've never actually done the video. What is the next thing?

Let me see. I had to write some quick notes 'cause I was listening to it on and off today. She called out Shannon Sharp for taking advice from Shaquille Shaquille O'Neal. you know, she was like, how you gonna take advice about women from Shaquille who doesn't even have a woman? And so, look, you guys can go look at some of my old content. I was like, I don't know why single people take advice from single people about marriage.

I don't know why people listen to these men on these podcasts talk about stuff that who don't have relationships that can hold water. They don't, they don't have. I'm like, you're listening to people who don't even have what it is you're seeking. You're listening to men trying to tell you how to catch a man. I'm like, actually, you go to a woman And, they teach you how to catch a man. Men don't catch men. Well, not heterosexual men anyway. Men can't tell you how to catch a man.

Women tell you how to catch a man. All the things that men are saying, like, oh, this is what you need to do. That doesn't necessarily work. Men gonna tell you a lot of things that they want per se, which are always gonna be in their favor. But at the end of the day, men don't know how to catch men, not heterosexual men. Women know how to catch heterosexual men. Let me tell you something, something so simple like men are gonna take this. Like, oh, can she cook?

Can she do this? Because they're thinking about all the things that you can do for them. And I'm not saying that that's not a thing. Just like women will say, these are all the things that make them do for me, right? But at the end of the day, it's the other stuff too that, that is what's gonna catch a man. For example, there's a difference in, well, back in the day in how I would speak to a guy, you know, if I wanted them to hear the softness in my voice or the Femininity or anything like that, right?

I mean, I wasn't necessarily a damn zoo in distress. But there's a way that I smiled. There was the way that I smelled there was the way that I looked. There's the way that I talked. There were the things that I've said, right? So if you say, hey, the way, like if you talk to a man, I say the way to the man, I'm saying, wait till the man's heart. It's, you know, you'd be submissive. Half of 'em don't even know how to act. If they had a submissive woman, they're gonna say, can you cut me a meal? It sounds so stupid. And I'm not saying that those things don't work, but men don't catch men.

Women catch men and vice versa. So, so stupid. Anyway, let's move on. So I just thought it was interesting. She was calling out like you, like why are you going to a guy who doesn't have a woman who's gonna tell you about how to catch? It's like so stupid. She talked about getting that auntie moniker. I should have given you the timestamp. I didn't think to catch that. And she wears it as a badge of honor. Now, I likened this to conversations that I've had recently about sisterhood and womanhood.

'cause she was like, you know, once I was be stowed upon me, it was like an honor. And I feel like there was a sense of responsibility for my people, right? And so I like the fact that she said that because I feel like in some of my conversations I've had, had I said like, I, think it was a year or two where I mentioned in one of my videos, I said that I feel like Gen X may have failed some of the generations below us, just like some of the other generations above us have failed us a little bit. Like we've all been broken.

That's not to say that there aren't good things that can't be passed down. But the point I'm making is, is like you feel like a sense of responsibility. And I sat in one of my videos, like there is a sense of responsibility on like, you know, things that were passing down recently. I've likened, I've, I've made more conversations centered around having sisterhood, shared experiences and stuff like that as we go through this thing in life called womanhood, right? Because there's various stages of what that looks like.

And your sisterhood is gonna change depending on what stage of womanhood you're in. you know, Monique is, she says she's 56, I'm 47. The stages of the stage of womanhood that she's in is gonna be a little different than mine, right? And so there's things that you can learn from people, you know, I just felt like where she was, what I took away from that was like the sense of responsibility she has, just like Shannon mentioned, that he, he loves being called unc and she's saying she loves being given that moniker of Auntie and the responsibility that comes with it, which means she's also gonna tell you the things that you don't want to hear.

And also go back to that. And then, you know, we just talk about, like, I like to talk how, how she was talking about Tiffany Haddish. 'cause you know, Tiffany Haddish likes, and I guess she took a shot at Monique. I didn't hear the interview, but she took a shot at Monique talking about like, she's glad she doesn't have that husband that Monique has and how, you know, how I feel about people attacking marriages all the time. And I thought that, you know, Monique had a cute little clap back. Like, well maybe if she had a husband like mine, she wouldn't be, you know, dealing with I.

think she, if I remember correctly, allegedly she's been brought up on DUI charges. I can't remember. you know, she is that the perception is that she may have been grooming children when she came out with that weird video with Ari's Spears and I. think I did a video on that like a year or two ago. Just stuff like that. you know, Tiffany Haddish seems lost. Like I don't understand what's going on with her. Remember how that was some sort of video of her stalking some other celebrity? I don't know if it was Ciara or Celine Von or somebody.

I was like, that's kind of weird and creepy. you know, it's just stuff like that. So she was basically like, well maybe if you had somebody in your life, maybe you would be dealing with all this stuff going on in your life. Like maybe somebody would've grounded you. Like I just didn't like how she tried to take a shot at Monique's husband. Oh, miss, no, this is all alleged. 'cause I didn't hear her say it. I don't know if it's recorded somewhere, but I do like the response that Monique had to, at least that's what was allegedly said about her husband.

What else? This is one of my things that I, I, I like, I like that Monique calls out the whole bonnets and that type of thing. And I've, I've talked about this before. This might've been like two or three years ago, I think with the whole bonnet, I think I called it Bon Gate. Sorry, my sentences. you know, a lot of people think, oh, it's respectability politics.

And I'm like, no, why can't we just have a standard for ourselves where we are full of pride? Remember how I was talking about, and I know times have changed, but back in the day, people from the fifties and sixties, like they enjoyed, like women enjoyed being feminine and still if they wanted to be involved in social justice, right? Women were still feminine. They could still be soul punk strong if we wanna go with that. But they still were feminine. They still, they, they used their Femininity also as a strength.

Women love to be poised and you know, they either, they were treated like women, right? They weren't treated as like, they had to be like the mule all the time. And men liked being masculine and, and dressing up and putting on a suit or what. I don't know. The point I'm getting at is, you know, we had standards for ourselves. We had standards what our makeup looked like, and now we're like full on clowns. Like the amount of makeup and contouring we're doing. They we're doing everything not to even look like number one.

Number two, our wig gain, not wig gain. Our wig gain is so like I think there's, it's okay to have all kinds of textures, but like, we are like ridiculous with it now. And so the point I'm making was, we showed up like we, we, everybody gets to choose how they wanna show up in this world. And we chose how we wanted to show up. Now our choices is We don't care about our, our our parents.

We don't care about anything. And I get where she's coming from, but instead this generation is like, why can't we show up? And I'm like, it's like the stupidest conversation. Like the people used to walk around with their pants hanging low and all those stupid stuff. Like when I was coming up, my father and people in my family would be like, pull your pants up. They did not play that. They're like, you will do your hair, you'll groom yourself, right? But nowadays, if you say that to somebody, everyone is like so offended on everything.

And it's like, there's gotta be a movement for everything. And it's like, oh, I, I just wanna put my hair in a bonnet. And I'm like, it's not even like a head wrap. They're just in a bonnet. Everybody wants to be in a bonnet. I'm like, okay. And then this is the one takeaway that I did not agree with, which is gonna make everybody want to exit out of this video. But I'm gonna say what I wanna say, it is not lost on me that whenever she spoke to anything that was spiritual, she called it the universe.

Now, she did not come out and say, whenever I speak about something spiritual, it's the universe. But whenever she says like what was sent to her, it was like the universe gave me the universe. She, she's crediting the universe and you know me, there could be only one God I'm serving the father who comes in the triune, the father, the son, the Holy Spirit. So I believe in God. And she kept referring to everything as the universe sending her X, Y, Z.

So I did not agree with that part. 'cause I feel like anything that is sent to me that is good and holy is that comes only from God. I want to be clear. all right, so that's it in a nutshell. I don't want to belabor this too much. I don't know. Let me know what your thoughts are on that. Hopefully you guys saw the interview and I'm curious to, to listen and hear many of your many people's takeaway.

all right, later.