S4E21 I did not watch the married to medicine reunion but Dr Jackie!

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Speaker 1 (0s): Good morning bows and bow ties. So I wanna jump right on into it. I wanna talk about doctors. I don't know how many of you who watch my channel, who don't look like me and I know I should be checking my analytics more. I should be checking a lot of things on this channel. And to be honest, I am the worst. I just get out here and I just have a conversation basically with myself. but I wanna talk about doctors for a second and then I'm gonna circle back to Married with Medicine.

Or let me just say this, married to Medicine is a reality. Tele television show on Bravo. And I stopped watching many of the shows actually because I, I just didn't like the trend of where it was going. but nevertheless, it's a show about doctors or spouses who are married to doctors and and what that's like. And so there was a doctor on there, Dr. Jackie, who's a African American, I'll just say black 'cause I don't like seeing African American, but she's a black O-B-G-Y-N.

And there's, she, she's in some hot mess because she made some very insensitive comments about black women whining too much and basically mocking their, their, their pain and, and their discomfort during pregnancy. Now I'm paraphrasing, okay, so you can go out, you can research what she said on her on your own, but she was in a, she's, it's on social media. She's in a clip with a person called Dr. Now.

They had their reunion and she got up there and she started crying. And my understanding from the clips that I've seen now, full disclosure, I'm only going by clips that I've seen. So there was a lot of crying and I guess she was upset that people were upset with her. And I think a lot of it has also to do with the fact that I think a lot of people, I, I didn't see this but I, but basically I saw, looks like she's, they, they think that one of their cast members set her up with having this clip surface on Circle Media.

I'm gonna come back to that in a moment. I'm going to talk about two different scenarios with me. One that is not pregnancy related. Well maybe I'm guessing seven years ago. I'm trying, trying to think how many years ago I was having stomach pain and I couldn't figure it out. I was driving to work and then out of nowhere, I should take this left while I can, I'll take this left.

Okay, so outta nowhere, I was driving to work and I had to pull over on the side of the road and I could not do anything. I was doubled over in pain and I was like, what is this pain? It was, I had never, I don't usually get a lot of pain. I've never had a menstrual prayer in my life. I've never had anything like that. So I wound up going into like patients first or whatever. And by the way, they were horrible, but they were like, there's nothing wrong. You don't have an event sitis or anything like that.

And I wound up just taking more Motrin and I went home. I got a call later that day from patients first, apparently they looked at whatever was going on like 12 hours later or whatever, and they're like you, well not quite 12 hours but maybe 10 hours or something. And. they said You need to go directly to the emergency room. I'm like, why? They were like, you've got an obstruction. I go to the emergency room. They wound up having to do a whole bunch of stuff, put a tube in me.

They had to give me really high powered medicine and knock me out. Long story short, they, they I think they took me for an x-ray or whatever. I don't remember much because I was on dope lotted, okay, Dilaudid is so strong. They put the tube up in me, they Dilaudid and basically they had to shut down my, I guess, digestive system when they did that. And then I woke up after they, they did some, some X-rays or whatever.

They were like, you have a blockage. When the, the doctors that came in there was a black surgeon, he was fine by, he was absolutely fine by the way. They had a surgeon, black surgeon, And, they had a white surgeon come in and I don't know if it was like his residency or whatever and some other people. So the doctor came in, he explained what was happening and he said, so what we're doing right now is we're shutting down your digestive system because you have a blockage and these things can resolve themselves but we have to do certain things.

So I know you're uncomfortable right now. We will make you comfortable. but I had that two minute like, so we have to pump your stomach and some other things. But I was in so much pain and my medicine I think was getting ready, ready to wear off the white doctor. And I hate to make this racial. I don't think he understood or he was new. And he started coming at me crazy asking me all these crazy questions. 'cause when they had to come and check on me multiple times, he started saying, can you just do this?

Can you do that? I'm like, I literally cannot move on in so much pain. And he was like, well you just need to do this. And so he was talking to me. The I was a POS and fortunately the black doctor was in there and there was some nurses in there. And not only, so I got him together. I was like, excuse me, I don't like this man, I cannot move. Because when the, the kind of blocks I had, I was doubled over, they weren't sure if they were gonna have to surgically remove this blockage. So he kept trying to get me through all this stuff. And, they could see I was in so much pain and I was like setting it off on him.

But I barely had the energy. And the black doctor looked at him and was like, like basically had to tell him to, and I forgot exactly 'cause it's been so many years. The black doctor had to tell him to stop. And then I said, and I don't remember the exact words so I'm paraphrasing, but I remember saying to the white doctor, I said, I don't know who you think you are, but I don't like you. I'm so miserable right now. And the fact that you're coming in here talking to me and you don't have any kind of bedside manner or empathy and, and everybody in there knew news, right?

So I said, I don't want him touching me. I don't want him near me. He is not going to be a doctor of mine. you know, they got him up outta that room so quickly and a bl black doctor just looked at me and I'm sure there's some sort of code of ethics or something. He couldn't really bomb out the doctor, right? He just looked at me and there was a little bit of a, I don't know if there was a smile. I don't know what it was. It was something. Now keep in mind I'm on medication but not on medication.

'cause wearing off, I'm missing much pain. Like I just remember the main things. The black doctor just looked at me and he's like, he will no longer be one of your doctors. I will take care of you. I don't remember what else he said. The doctor went through a couple of other things like this is what we're looking to see improvement in and some other stuff. And if these things don't resolve themselves then we will have to look at some alternative measures, blah blah blah. And so he wound up leaving and I asked one of the, the nurses to stay or whatever.

And I actually talked to a white nurse and a black nurse. They were at different times. And I was talking about the white doctor that left And. they were very consistent. 'cause you know nurses, they try to stay the professional, but I'm allowed, they'll tell you. So I remember they both let me know. In some words they said, look, that doctor is kind of a jerk. The the the one that I dismissed, they were like, he's still kind of new and he doesn't get it.

like you don't talk to patients a certain kind of way, especially when they're in like such distress. Like it's so hard to even do anything right? Because there is so much pain. And, they were like, your pain is high. They said you got a severe blockage and you still do And. they were like, it's not resolving it so quickly, you know, like the doctors said. But they showed me like little tricks and stuff like that. So anyway, long story short, that doctor, I had never seen that doctor again. And, they knew.

I said, when you come back in here, he better not be in here. I said, that doctor's trying to kill me. And. they were like, he's not, I was like, he's trying to kill me. He cannot come in here. I don't want that doctor. I had to advocate for myself. So with that being said, he never was assigned back to me and the black doctor. Once I started feeling better because you know, I came in there, I was looking like who shot John, you know? But by the time I left up outta the hospital, obviously my clothes turned back, you know, trying to look more cute and everything.

And I remember that doctor came to me, he was like, okay, you look completely different than when you came in. 'cause I was like, so now that's that scenario and there's some stuff in between that I left out now. But I'm gonna talk about pregnancy for a second and then I'll circle back to this Doctor Jack Jackie nonsense. You guys know I have four children? Three, three pregnancies, four children. One of my pregnancies was a set of twins. So when I went to, when I, I was fortunate enough, I don't know why I could barely remember my first doctor 'cause I had changed insurance and whatever.

But my doctors when I was pregnant, sorry, you know I'm paying attention 'cause I gotta merge here. My doctors were black women during my pregnancy and I wanted black women. I wanted black doctors. And it's not because white doctors are incompetent, they're totally competent. but I wanted, I mean I just wanted black doctors for me.

And let me tell you something, the care I got was honestly, I can't.

Speaker 2 (11m 16s): Let's take a quick break.

Speaker 3 (11m 18s): What's good y'all? So on today's episode I want to talk about post athlete career depression. One thing that's very common that's not really talked about is what a athlete goes through when their career's over. I don't care if it's high school, college, or at a professional level, we all reach a level where there's a depression and we're trying to find the next move. But not only that, we're trying to find our identity as well. So with all that being said on this episode, this is the discussion. If you don't know who I am, I am the host of this show in this podcast.

Push a hundred miles per hour and my name is Ramon Clemente. Let's get into the show push.

Speaker 1 (12m 3s): I can't answer better care. My doctor, especially my last three, I remember my doctor took so much, she took care of me so well 'cause in the way she wanted to see me, she measured everything. She was looking at my face, she was looking at everything. She just kept looking. She was like, it was like really interesting because I had preeclampsia for my pregnancies. Like all of my children. My biggest baby was six pounds. My smallest was three pounds, 15 ounces.

And he wasn't the twin by the way. And she was always conscious of everything going on with me. She took such good care of me and the babies that are in utero. And anytime I had pain, I remember one time my hand was hitting everything I was and she was talking to me and I was like, my hands hurt so much, my joints hurting. And she was like, yeah, I know you're experiencing some of this. She was like, I know it's painful but we're gonna try to make sure we don't do give you anything that is unnecessary if you can manage certain things.

She's like, but she recognized my pain. Like I had options. But we talked and she was like, so tell me on a scale of like where are you with your pain? She was constantly talking to me and I was like, you know, this doesn't feel good. She said, you know, this part is gonna be part of pregnancy, right? Some of the discomfort. 'cause you know, I didn't always know, but she was like, you know, we wanna make sure that whatever we do, we don't bother these babies. Now I will say this, there were times when she was looking at me and she was like, you know, you could go on bedrest.

She was like, you know, you're in one of those situations where I can just put you on bed rest. I never even asked for it. She's like, I wanna make sure these babies have as much time to cook. I remember for my pregnancy with my twins, my last, my last visit, I didn't even think I was not well or anything else. She was like, no, no matter what, this is the thing, you are not authorized to go back to work.

If anything, you might have these babies early. She was like, not only that, 'cause they called me back to the hospital. I remember I went home and everything and she was looking at him, she's like, I don't like it. I want you back here. And she was like, no matter what, you are not leaving this hospital. So you may be here for weeks or whatever it is. She was like, you're not leaving until these babies are born and however long that takes. She was like, so if we can leave them in longer, we're gonna leave them in longer, but you're not going home.

I wanna make sure that you are good. But she was always like, I'll open my business. Like I, she, she was on it. She wanted to know how I was feeling. She checked, I mean, that's her job. But the point of making was she did her job. She did her job and she didn't make me feel like I was just making up stuff or anything like that. Her bedside manner was so good. It was a black practice, which was so interesting too. And, and it was so funny because there were more white people than black people who went to this practice.

They just loved this practice because this practice was so awesome. But I felt like she made me feel like a person or patient. Like she made me feel like I'm mattered for my, all my babies. The staff did everything. Like she was so warm and she was like, okay, okay, now wait, wait, wait. She's like, okay, so this what we're gonna do. Okay, I want you to relax. Because she wanted, I mean like, like the care was like she was caring.

The care was carried. Like I can't explain it because in essence she just did her job, but she made me feel like she was giving me extra cycles when she probably did it for everyone. But her whole big thing was making sure those babies are okay. I was everything. Everything. And she listened. So when she wanted to know how tired I was, she wanted to know everything. And so I remember the day I think I said this in another video, maybe like months ago.

I remember the day I came in for a routine appointment and her staff was on me like, no, I want to take a look at this again. They were checking in, rechecking in checking. And she came in and she was like, she just sat in front of me and she had her hands on me. She's like, listen to me. And she spoke so calm, go straight to the labor and delivery. I was like, what? She was like, I think those babies are gonna come today. I do not want you to stop, go, you know, stop going you to Paco, do not stop.

You gotta go pass. Go collect the $200. And I'm in her office and she was like, do you want me to call someone? She's like, because you're well enough to drive yourself, but if you want me to call someone, if you want me to get your husband to come get you, that's fine. I was like, no, I can drive myself. So I drove myself to the emergency room and I'm like, as in, or or labor and delivery. And I told my husband out the way, but when we got there she said, she told me I will be probably about 20 minutes behind you because now I gotta tidy up something here and while you're getting checked in there, I'm going to be scrubbing in there.

I get to labor and delivery. And after all the checking and everything, she halts everything. She's like, no I think that these babies can, can last another couple days, one or two days. One or two days. And she was about right. She was about right. She was like, no, she sent me home. She monitored and stuff, some, some stuff. She said, Nope. Time to come back. No, I want to check your numbers again. Where am I going with this? When I, think about what I saw on the clips I saw on Married to Medicine about Dr.

Jackie and her dismissing black women, their pain, their gripes and all other stuff like that. And this woman knows that black women have a very high maternal death rate in comparison to everybody else here in this country. I was so I was really disappointed, really hurt. I was really didn didn't lose a baby. I didn't do, I didn't lose anything. All four of my children are here and they're healthy. I mean they, they might need like therapy or something when they get older because I'm probably not the best mom.

But for her to get up there and say that, and I think the reason why it's so disturbing on so many levels, but the main level is when you do in, in, in, in, of a public conception instead of she chose to get up there on a platform and cry about, you know, her mistake.

And I don't have a problem with her crying about her mis mistake as long as there's contrition along with it for the right reasons, right? But I think the biggest thing is everything she was saying was more about like her and her profession instead of, I'm just sorry I hurt you guys and it was a mistake because see there, there is forgiveness and there's redemption. But I'm still seeing this whole like somehow she, she, she has been victimized this and I'm just sitting there thinking I said now, but trying to make it seem like it was this other cast me who may have dropped the video.

I'm like, I don't care if she's yelled it from the mountaintops, it doesn't even matter. They're more concerned about, were you the one who put that out there? I'm like, it doesn't matter if she was or was not. She, Dodger Jackie was the one who made the comment that those are her real feelings. What should have been coming out of her mouth was, I am so sorry that I hurt you all.

I made a mistake and all I can do is the work to regain your trust. I, no one owes me their trust. No one owes me their respect, but all I can do is just do the work to gain your trust. And I'm sorry not, I'm sorry if I hurt you. She hurt people. Just, I am sorry. I wish I was never that silly enough to say that I don't, you know, So I mean she should have been saying things like, you know, sometimes, you know, we could be so far removed from people or sometimes we forget, sometimes we forget.

Sometimes we get these God complexes, some, you know, and especially the thing that kills me about Dr. Jackie is sitting there talking about women in their pain. I'm like, this woman was never able, able to conceive a child or, or to, to birth her own child. So she doesn't know what it's like to have those, those pains or, or issues. So for her to get out there and, and make those comments, and now she's upset because they have resurfaced and what she has done is deflected and somehow put those all put, put those concerns off onto another castmate.

I'm like, you are a piece of work. I, let me tell you something. If I was down in Atlanta, I would not be coming through her office. I'd be afraid she was trying to kill me or something. I'm like, Uhuh no way. Because if I tell you that I, I have pain or if I'm suffering or something and you think that I'm just trying to make it up so I can get outta work, This woman is unbelievable. And those, those comments are, are unconscionable.

And maybe it's just because, you know, I know what my experiences are with black doctors. I've had very positive, favorable experiences. I don't know. But this woman, I feel like she has forgotten who her people are. I think the rumor is, or my understanding is, I'm gonna say alleged, but I think, my understanding is she's primarily a doctor to the stars, is what I heard. And that she doesn't even take medic.

No. What is it? Like insurance? I don't dunno if it's Medicare or Medicaid. I don't know the difference between the two. But she doesn't take insurance from people. Like if you're not wealthy, she's not even servicing you. And I'm just sitting here thinking like the bulk of the people are not wealthy. I'm just so disappointed in her. And it's, and I'll say this, she's in a tough position because she's in the public eye.

Nevertheless, I'm just kinda like to sit there. Everybody gets scrutinized. I'm sure if I was ever on television, somebody would find something that was done or said in the past that would come back to haunt me. I'm sure I've said and done a lot of stupid things. I think the difference is with her, it's kind of like there's no contrition, there's no real remorse. She's more sad that she was, was outed or discovered versus hurting the people, hurting the very group of people that supported her who looked up to her.

Look, sometimes I think I may be out of touch and I get it, but I think what was so disturbing is just like she's out there crying, why are they crying? And I'm like, he's, I'm like, wait, so so you're the one that's harmed now you're, you're, you're the one who's victimizing this. I'm just trying to figure out why are you crying? All the women, all these black women that are hurt by your comments or like women who were patients of yours and then you make these, this woman is a piece of work.

I'm like, this is why I had to stop watching the reality tv. I'm glad I haven't really tuned into like 90% of whatever's on television right now. I don't watch except for if it's Survivor and maybe the Beverly Hills house wise. And I don't even watch that one. I just watch people's reactions whenever I get a chance. And it's always like, I feel like I'm always like a day late, a dollar short. I I just feel like especially all the black franchises are watched for its repeat. I'm just so sick of them. They are. So I'm done with them anyway, those are my book thoughts.

Let me know. Obviously this was a slight trigger for me listening to some black doctor just make all these public gaps. Like, she is ridiculous. She needs to stop Anyway. So all that crying and look, it hits the petty part of me from what little bit I saw. And I know it's petty and it, it, look I am, let me just say this. I am not that refined. Okay. She looked like full on Skeletor up there. Now I'm don. I'm only seeing it because I'm eating 'cause I don't want, looks like 20 pounds.

So, All right.

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