S4E33 Single women want married women respect

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Transcript

Speaker 1 (0s): Good morning Bowes and bow ties. So look, you know, I try to curate my, my feed, whether it's on YouTube or TikTok, right? And right now there's certain things that are popping up in my feed. And so what I have noticed is there has been this increase in women getting on podcasts or putting out videos, well, single women, basically really talking bad about married women.

And you know, I have been swiping past some of those videos because I, I just wanted to look at some of the things or listen to other things and put other things into my feed, right? So sometimes I'll, I'll, I'll look up something on, I like looking up things on like philosophy or I don't know, just whatever. So I get like these random things in my, my think, but for whatever reason, the algorithm, I feel like the algorithm is attacking me.

I'm a full on victim. I'm a victim. I, I'm getting a lot of these videos, right? So either whoever I follow must follow this type of content or whatever. So I finally selected some of this content and this is what I have come to the conclusion. I think that there are single women, or many of them who, who put out these videos, I think they just want to be respected, like married women.

Now, what do I really mean by that? I feel like in defense of single women, I think oftentimes society looks at single women. Like, what is wrong with you? you know, how come this, how come that if you're not married, how come we don't have any children? All this sort of stuff. And although I am a married woman, I can see how irritating that can be, right? Because this is the thing, I feel like society will devalue a woman who is not tethered to a man.

So when you're constantly having people question you or, or, or this implication behind the questions, right? Like, well, there must be something wrong with her. I mean, and, and for many of these women, well, there there is, right? you know, there could be lots of things, but I feel like everybody's got something going on that's so-called wrong with them, right? I think more importantly, we have to be honest when it comes to women who look like me.

Well, yeah, I mean the marriage rates abysmal, right? And so you have men out here on the one hand saying some of these ridiculous things like, well, how come you're not married? Well, a lot of men are not trying to marry And. they can't really afford to marry in our current, you know, economic situation. you know, where they, they are not I, think competing the way they can't compete, I would say collectively as far as having suitable mates with, with women who look like me because, well, women have glowed up.

Can I say glowed up? I know that's poor English, but you know, women have definitely made some changes to their lives. They've leveled up. So, but getting back to single women having, you know, wanting to be respected, like married women, I kind of get it. I mean, I think single women are being treated like the middle child or something, right? But I think the biggest thing is questioning women, at least women who look like me about their, their, their matrimonial status.

Well, it's kind of like almost disingenuous. If, if men who supposedly control access to marriage are not proposing well then the question isn't really always what's wrong with you. It's also what's wrong with the men. 'cause there's a lot going on with the men. So nonetheless, I think you've got a bunch of women getting out here. Now, I I think people are going to misinterpret. What I'm getting ready to say is you've got a bunch of single women who are kind of angry about it.

Now, the context, and when I say that, it's more like, why are, am I constantly being questioned? So they, they get out there and address, I guess like this unwritten question, right? About their status. They just get out there And, they get on these rants, and this is where it starts to go left. They come off as very angry and bitter and all these other things. Now a lot of people gonna say, oh, I can't believe you're saying this about them. I'm like, if you're constantly being compared to another group, another demographic, or you're constantly, you know, being questioned.

And when people make assumptions like what's wrong with you or whatever like that I think that there are women who are just psycho, but you're gonna find that in any demographic and you're not gonna, you, you understand what I'm saying? Like, I can see how they, they, they become really irritated. However, this is the thing I wrote down a couple of quick notes. I find that these single women are feeling, in some ways I hate seeing inferior 'cause it's not really what I wanna do.

I just feel like they're probably feeling under attack. And so it's kind of like this lasting out, like you, like when the cats start to hiss and then they And they reach out and then they grab you with their claws. So what happens is, instead of going after the people who are questioning this, the, the status, what they're doing now is they're attacking the married woman bit. Because at the end of the day, regardless if you're single or if you're married, there's always gonna be something about the status, whatever, everybody thinks the grass is greener or then they'll start to say it's not greener or whatever.

So it's almost as if like there's, they're, there's trying, I feel like they're trying to balance the scales, right? Like, wait a second, wait a second. First of all, you married woman unhappy you this, you that? And I'm like, you know, I see mostly single women getting out here complaining. I see mostly single women getting out here, getting on all these, these, these podcasts. They, they obviously have more free time and that's not a doc, that's actually a blessing.

But most married women just don't even get out there and have a whole bunch of conversations because they're too busy living their lives and raising kids or whatever. But you'll find that these single women will get out here on these podcasts and start dogging out the married women. So it reminds me of when people say things like, why is it that when a man who looks like me wants to date other people, they always talk about what a black woman isn't versus just saying, Hey, I wanna date other people 'cause X, Y, and Z, right?

It all circles back to black women. Well, I actually feel like it's similar. Like single women can't keep married women out their mouths. So instead of trying to be in solidarity with other women, I feel like they're trying to tear them down. So I guess, you know, that old adage that says hit dogs holler. I guess I'm hollering to, I felt like a hit dog sometimes I'm like, how did I catch a stray? you know, I was minding my business, trying to read up my philosophy and, and some other stuff or, or listen to videos on some nonsense or, you know, enough my like National Geographic type videos or you know about the lions and the cubs and everything.

Don't judge, okay. Full of un fascinating. But what happens is, you know, I was during these videos and I finally clicked on a couple. So of course what happens when you click on a couple, you get recommended at time I was like, how did I just catch Body I was like, I'm catching strays. You know, apparently I'm one of the most unhappiest people 'cause I'm married with children. And, and I'm like, wait a second. First and foremost, what they don't talk about is the up and down that single women go through.

There are periods of loneliness, there are periods of great joy, there's periods of everything. And I would say similarly with married women, but the, the the, the landscape looks different. Right now you are helping to shape the lives of future humans. And that is also a great thing. I never wanted a whole lot of kids at first, but I would never, I could never, like I don't regret all four of my children, okay?

So although they, you know, they try me I think the biggest thing is there's something, it's hard to explain to someone if they have an experience when you get to shake and, and care for and, and care for, it depends on maybe you've experienced trauma and what care looks like for raising a child. But it's, it's a different experience. There are times when it's not pleasant. And yes, you are sharing your time and your resources.

I don't knock single women for not choosing that. I don't think it's wrong. And I think that we have to stop trying to compare that and say, oh, they're just selfish. Wait, number one, why? Why does it have to make them selfish? And number two, let's say they are being selfish. What is the problem? They're not bothering anybody. There's, they're choosing to not have children. And there's people who are or are being bent outta shape over. They're choosing at this point not to be married because, you know, everyone's pissed off and angry and everything.

So they're protecting their peace. They've created a comfortable life for themselves, or at least many of them have. And that's just where they're at. Now do I think that perhaps maybe their feelings may change you five or 10 years? Yes, but just like married women, they go through things too. I think the biggest thing is that watching or listening to single women get out here on social media and then they go after the married women. I'm like, just say, hey, I'm protecting my peace.

I'm happy to be single. These are things I enjoy with my single life. I think that these things would be compromised if I were married, right? But this is where I'm comfortable and just talk about your status. But instead, what they're doing is attacking the status of another demographic in order to exalt their own I. think it, that's I. think it's like an attempt in order to be seen, to be visible, to be valued in society.

That is what I am hearing now, these are my opinions. I told you these are my opinions. This is all of my opinions. I did not go out to the peer research or the NIH or not or whatever else to try to get some data or statistics. I'm going by what I am hearing in these videos. but I do think many of these women are just tired of being compared I think by virtue of single women comparing themselves to val married women. What I'm I? This is what I felt. I felt like they were trying to draw a comparison in order to show the pros.

Like, like, and there's nothing wrong with that, but it's almost like, let me show you why I am considered valuable. No, those words weren't used, but that's the sentiment. That's what I was taking away from a lot of these videos. I think they were looking to be actually validated, right? Like, hey, it is great to be single too. Like, look at me, look at me. you know, I get to do all these things. And what I don't hear much is I hear people like I hear some of it, some of 'em, well wanna mention this.

I don't have them just talk about their state of being like mental state. Oftentimes they talk about the things they get to do, right? Like earlier in my conversation, I was talking about I get to observe and watch my kids grow in shape and molds, right? It wasn't about all the things I can do or didn't do or anything like that. I mean, because if I'm looking for something negative, I could find a lot of negative things to say about being married, you know?

But sometimes the very same thing that I can use as a negative is also positive. For example, being married, you learn to compromise. That's, you know, it sucks in the beginning, but it's also a beautiful thing when you learn about compromise, you learn a lot about yourself, you learn about the things that are important, you know? So getting back to it, when I listen to single women, women speak, I oftentimes don't really hear about them talking about it.

Not, you know, a whole lot about their state of being or, you know, being happy with themselves or finding themselves in a higher spiritual place with God, Jesus, or whatever it is that you believe in, right? I hear only about I get to, you know, spend my money on me and that's why you marry a girl or whatever, or whatever. Or I, I don't know. And I get to travel to these places. Now I think once that runs dry, then what?

Right? If I were to hear them saying like, you know, I have so much more time to work on myself, to learn and to grow and to, to, you know, get into a different place of where I'm at, peace, stuff like that. To me, I think that's valuable. Anyone can learn from something like that, right? But you don't hear that. You hear them talk about how much money that they're not spending on someone and going out to Brus or something, I, I don't know, whatever.

And, and then they attack married women. You, y'all are the most unhappiest people and we're the happiest people. And I'm sitting there thinking like, nothing about what you're showing me says happy nothing. I just see a bunch of women getting out here, dogging out everybody. And then they're like, but we're the happiest ones. I'm like, are you, are you happy? Because how people don't act like that, I don't think. I don't think many of you are happy at all.

So anyway, I feel like single women are really just trying to I think, be seen and be heard and to be valued. And that's fair. I think they're also being put in a situation where they're constantly being questioned. Like, you know, and so I can understand the irritation. So earlier when I made the comment that I feel like sometimes they're angry, I kind of get it. But then also I think some of 'em really are just angry. And I just think that there's a whole bunch of posturing and buffing and like, they're so happy because this data says so.

I'm like, clearly the data is, it's like co this cognitive dissonance because like I hear people talking about this so called data point, but I'm like, I, I see a bunch of just not so happy women out here in these internet streets. Now the internet, I also know isn't like the most real place, but you got the people coming out on the internet talking this talking point, and yet they clearly don't look or sound happy. So I'm like, okay, you're happy even though, even though you're delivering body blows to people who had no beef with you.

I will say that I think that single women are constantly me being compared or, or being shown or told their value in terms of being like, I guess in proximity makes with man. So you'll get a lot of men out here on these podcasts. but I don't understand why men are so hyper focused on women so much, which lets me know how much they really need women because they do not even have a podcast if they didn't have women.

All men think about our women. What are they doing? Why are they happy? Why are they getting education? Why do they have these jobs? Why will they have our kids? Why don't they wanna marry us? Why do they wanna be alone? Why do they wanna be whores? I'm just kinda like, why aren't you asking all of these questions of yourself? Maybe I should do a video on that. Let me see.

I think that what the single women right now, since I guess, I don't know if it's called the single woman movement, to go off in these social media streets. Like I, that's what I think it should be called Single women's movement to go off in these social media streets. I think the biggest thing is right now because they're so sick and tired. I feel like it's, it's turning into this growing echo like echo chamber. Chamber.

So you've got the men who are going off on women, you got the men who are going off on black women in particular. And now you're gonna have other women, especially people like me, but other women in general, going off on women, which means black, married women now are gonna catch an even bigger stray. It's really amazing actually, to be honest. I'm like, okay, this is what's happening. So anyway, I feel like single women are having like the neglected middle child, you know?

And I understand why they are doing it. At least I think I understand why. I mean there, there's lots of other reasons that I'm sure I did not list, but it's just getting weird. It's really getting weird because you don't see a whole bunch of married women getting out here on social media taking shots as single women. Most of them are busy living their lives. They really are. It's the single woman getting out here, going off on people.

And like I said, I do have some sympathy because I get it. Like people tend to devalue them. I'm like, these are, these women are like amazing women. But then they get out here and then it's like, it's so hard to remain sympathetic because they say some of some stupid stuff. I'm like, y'all are really hyper-focused on married women. And so you're tearing down married women. You're looking for things that are negative. I mean, I look at like, I'll still look, I still go back to this non vial thing. Were there red flags in that whole interview?

I didn't see the interview. I saw a clip of it. Sure there were, but at this point, why would you wanna tell her to get out, run, do this? I'm looking at people there psycho, why not try to like put hedges of protection around her on her relationship and help them grow and, and love each other. Some of these women are just miserable and just freaking psycho and way too hyperfocused on Simone Viles relationship because I can really care what blessed what they do in their relationship.

I got all I can handle with mine. Anyway, I hope that you guys enjoyed this video. I, I need to get off because I need to sip some coffee. I'm tired and I don't really have anything else to say. all right, go ahead and leave a comment.

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