S4E64 Not everything comes down to jealousy

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Transcript

Speaker 1 (0s): Hey, bows and bow ties. you know, over the last couple days I, I was doing a video, or I was, I responded to a video I made in response to this woman gets out there and she starts going off on older women and some other stuff. And I know one of the things I had kind of mentioned was that maybe it's who she's surrounded with and she needs to surround herself with other people.

'cause I'm like, I'm just trying to figure out what is she talking about. Like all of these older, middle-aged women are just wanting to compete with these younger women. Let me just give you, oh man, my, my sciences. I'm gonna give you a little story. I started playing tennis, well, my kids are 12 now, so when they were babies, okay, I was a stay at home mom for a few years and then I went back to work.

but I started playing tennis. And the interesting thing about it was, during that time, believe it or not, I was fit. And five, I looked good, I dressed well, I looked good, all that good stuff. I was a mother of four children. And this, I have a point to this by the way, so just hang in there with me. I was playing tennis. I had four kids, two of them were my side of twins. They were like two babies.

I a toddler. And I had like a regular like kid. My, he was like 5, 6, 7 years older. And I was going to go play tennis. And what happened was, I got good quickly. Well, I'm athletic, I played sports before people wanted to play with me. I won a lot. I was moving up levels, et cetera. And with that it's good you get a lot of attention, but also you get a lot of attention. So I was able to command who I wanted to play with in terms of if I'm playing doubles from playing mixed doubles.

Well people don't wanna see something that's ugly or outta shape, whatever. Now where am I going with this? I want you guys to stick with me. I would play mixed doubles and I would have a good time. Sorry, I pick my other card today. I had to get in details and some other things. That's why I'm still in my loud card. So I, I started having the ability to play with a lot of really good players.

I won a lot, won a lot of games. We to a lot of like championship second. And I started hearing these rumors and I want you to listen to this. Lemme tell you how sister could come in. I started hearing these rumors that I was sleeping around with not just one guy, but two guys. Now keep in mind I have young children, a husband at home that I love by the way.

And my husband is a very secure guy. And I, I let it just roll off because I knew I wasn't out here in these streets. But interestingly enough, this, these set of rumors started to grow and you know, people started chirping. The ones who actually had some sense And. they were like, Hey, lemme tell you what they're saying about you. And actually it was some of the men who started telling me too, I have several people pulling me aside And, they said, you better be careful about some of these women out here and some of these men, but these women are not your friends.

I happened to get along with some of the women who were a little bit older than me. Now keep in mind I had my twins when I was in my I was 35 I. think my years, you know, they were my last Rob, like planning on my twins obviously, right? but I had my twins and I happened to get along with some other ladies as well. They were good players. Oh, at the time they were more advanced than me actually. So you're just not going to get over Dingling.

Sorry, I think people do that. Anyway, so these women were really good. And then I actually wound up, you know, matching their level and doing really great. I remember these women, I, I, I brought something to them. I said, you know, this is the kind of stuff that's getting out about me. And I was like, I don't really appreciate it, blah blah, blah. you know, those women sat me down. Well, they didn't like sit me down, but we were just talking amongst theirselves, And. they actually had this conversation with me more than once.

I was like, you know what? That's been really messed up that people are out here because this just started getting really bad. Okay? And this woman, now keep in mind at the time when I had my kid, I was in my mid thirties and I was pushing K and these women are about maybe 50 something. And and for those of you who don't know, Pete Leary of the woman who's in her forties and fifties playing tennis. 'cause they usually have a lot more time except for me. Of course. Course I had my twenties at 35. They have a lot of time and they're usually really good because they have time.

So a lot of times these girls who come out there, they're in their twenties and thirties thinking they're gonna whip up on somebody's 40 and 50. I'm like, oh no, they're very deceptive. These, these forties and 50 somethings are wearing people out. So the women that I were talking to during their fifties, they looked like me by the way. They were like, oh, you are gonna get that. I'm gonna tell you each one, they were breaking it down. They were like, you look a certain way, just a certain way. You get all the attention and a lot of these shit can't handle it.

But they were breaking again, And. they like, we know nothing's going on. And, they knew these guys, right? And, they were like, you don't even have time. They were like, some of this stuff wasn't even matching that. It didn't even make sense to anybody, right? They're like, we know so and so used to get this all the time. There was this one lady, she was, she looked like a model. Come to find out I. think she did some modeling by the way. And Black Lady Gorge. I'm just gonna call her Lady Gorge and or Lady Abs. 'cause those abs were ab like she was amazing.

Like I could look at her all day. No, it doesn't make me a lesbian or anything like that. She was just pretty to look at. Like I just, I don't know women that are pretty, I just like looking at them. I'm like, it's so pretty. But she was just like this beautiful woman, right? like you see women who are like, they were like late forties and mid fifties And. they just love, like, I love how they put themselves together. And, they were funny. And, they were witty. So they were almost like a, like a fae big sister.

but I loved how they treated me. They were like, okay, I jump for a second. I was like, okay, you know, because they live. They're like, no, no, no, no, no. But don't, don't feed me to that. You don't go out there and fly. I want you to go out there and whoop my bottom because we need that point. And then don't worry about it. They were like, I was, but I was really ticked that people would wanna go out there and just, it was just like, it was getting outta control. But more so a lot that came from my so-called Fear People who claim to be my friends.

And I had been warned about those women multiple times. And I was angry with myself that I wanted to see the good in these women instead of what it was that people were saying. Be careful. I mean if you guys knew the kinds of things that were getting out and about, about around me. Yeah, if you knew. So it got to a point, even my husband was like, you gotta cut off some of these friendships.

He was like, because I can't be I here, these streets looking like a bull or anything like that. But to make it seem like I was out, especially with these men that I hadn't seen in such a long time. 'cause I had taken time away. Like I don't even play anymore, right? Too busy with my kids. but I had taken time away. I hadn't seen people in like a year, sometimes two years, And. they were still running with these, these, these rumors that I was, I I was like angry about it at first. I used to just dismiss it. I'm like, okay, that's make any sense. you know, I was like, wait a second.

And where I'm going with it was these women pulled me aside And. They said, look, we've been down this road before. And people don't like the fact that here you come out here with your babies and your husband and the way you look, the dress, everything, and you're playing well and people wanna play with you. They want you on their teams, they wanna play with you. And you're funny. you know, they, they don't like that they of course, you know, looking back on some colorism concerns going on.

They were like, no, but they were like, you know what's up? you know what it's, they were like, don't worry about it. We got you. I was like, you just shouldn't have to, they were like, I know. But then neighbor dropped some other stuff on me, right? That was kind of like, 'cause I was really hurt by some of these people doing these things. That was the sisterhood that I didn't know I needed at the time. And that wasn't like besties with these ladies. But they were great people. I mean, I saw them hop on teams sometimes with them.

We have Game Night a Donna Fierce E or whatever, you know. And I appreciated how they were like, wait a second. And, and even the way they spoke to me was the kindness. It wasn't accusatory like, what are you doing? Did you go out do this? Right? It was more like, Hey, we can, this is how you handle this. They spoke to me with love. They, they were, they were so warm to me. And I was like, oh my gosh, And, they were funny about it.

They were like, oh, but they, but they was joking. It was, it was so good how they treated me like that was the sisterhood I needed in that moment. Because I was like, you, these people are getting messy trying to mess with my repair. Not that my husband thought I was doing anything, but when you could constantly have people chirp about it for you. And I was just so like, no, they wouldn't do that. And people are like, girl And. they most certainly would. You had people who provided lessons to some of these ladies.

All, every single man, every single one of them was like, I don't wanna be messy, but you need to be careful because the things I hear there, I mean, it was so bad that people are like, I don't even just, if I give you a lesson right now, they are concerned about me giving you a lesson. It got bad. So with that being said, I'm gonna bring it back to where I was going with this. This woman who clearly is middle aged, I'm not sure why she would wanna get out on the internet and talk about a bunch of women wanting to be jealous and beyond women that that's so acid on.

But she needs to talk about is how do we navigate some, some of these things like provide some wisdom, provide some teaching, right? You don't wanna tear down anybody. And and I just kind of felt like either she's been dealing with some trauma or she doesn't have the right kind of sister around her. She doesn't because that, that's not something that you would wanna get out there and talk. Like I, I don't understand that at all. I, I just didn't understand that.

but I wanted to make sure I gave the car correspondence follow up to show like an example now. And I didn't even deep dive on what I just said, right? Mine was kind of like very surfacey. The point I'm trying to make was, I was in a completely different generation than these other ladies. And I never felt like they were trying to put me, these ladies were beautiful, but they didn't care. you know, what they were doing. They were thinking about their retirement. They on were like lawyers and I can't remember what else they did.

And let me tell you, if anything, I could take some pointers from them because their hair was always thundered nails. We got everything. We got the tall Barbie I was just like, she was so gorgeous. It's like we had Barbie baring all the time and everything else. And as somebody who was younger than these women at the time who were in their like early fifties or whatever, or even like, they looked so good. I never felt like they were trying to compete with me. If anything, they were trying to drop so knowledge on me. They were like, you this, don't even talk to her.

Don't talk to her, don't talk to her. And. they were funny about it, so don't talk to her. How you gonna do it? And that was black and white. I wanna make it clear. 'cause even I remember I've had white women pull me inside who were older than me, And, they were drunk and knowledge whether it was about tennis or life tennis or life. So for that woman, she's clearly middle aged. To get out there and think like all these women are trying to compete with younger women. I'm like the vast majority of people who are in their middle ages are not competing with younger women.

you know, the things that they talk about, things they've got going on, I was learning from them. Okay, So let, let's keep it 100. But especially the ones who look like me, oh my goodness, they made me laugh. They made me feel more, there were times I was just, I mean I learned from them from a tennis standpoint. I learned from a lot. Like they were just great. And never once did I feel like, oh, they're trying to compete. I, it wasn't even something that crossed my mind.

They were like a different type of diva anyway. And I was like, I can only aspire. They were so awesome. So I would say to anybody who watches this, you need to change who you're surrounded by then because I have not seen this. And that's just one example. They sent me down, they were like, okay, lemme tell you how this is gonna go. You will continue to get this kind of this, that and the high. And I'm gonna tell you why they were breaking down so much stuff. They were like, you gotta leave out the noise.

And, they were tell And, they were like, you gotta leave that out. They were so awesome. I just never wanna see somebody who's my age or older get out here and say something so dumb like that. I mean, I was just getting, I was like, I was just giving secondhand embarrassment. I was just like, what is this lady saying? I get the feeling that she's in some sort of woman's group at her local church and maybe they feel like they gotta bring the woman back to Christ And.

they should. Right? I, I don't know. There was something really off about this lady. I just couldn't understand. And so maybe she's, I, I don't know. I just felt like something wasn't matching. It wasn't, I, I just, all right, that's my husband calling and messing up my video. So I'm going to end. Have a good one. Describe, leave a comment.

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