S4E86 Am I wrong for teaching my kids this way?

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Transcript

Speaker 1 (0s): I both in both and bow ties. So look, y'all got to, excuse me. You see the hair situation is situating. all right. I did not get a new phone thing yet, so we're gonna have to make do with this one that I use for my other card that I never really use for this. I'll get that rectified. So let's get on into it. Caitlyn Clark. Caitlyn Clark. Caitlyn Clark. I can't get the words out. I just have to say that since that's what everybody wants to talk about. it is Caitlyn Clark. Okay? I said her name.

Are we done? Caitlyn Clark for the love of Goodness. all right, the real topic. So in my house, I teach my children to, if something is going down with one of your siblings, a fight, anything of that nature, everybody jumps in. Everyone, you, they can be as wrong as two left shoes, but everyone has to jump in.

We'll sort it out later. But what we don't do is let anyone come for any one of us, right? We don't let anyone attack our siblings or anything like that, or, or if there were a cousin around or anything like that. We don't let our friends get bullied. I definitely don't let people put hands on our siblings. Okay? I just wanted to get that out there. But let me just say this. So I hope I don't run into a bad video recording patch because you know, certain areas are weird.

So what happened was, long story short, my children was suspended for fighting and he's not. This was like a week or so ago. He's not one of those kids who's that kind of kid? But he was defending his sister, he was defending his twin sister. And what happened was, it was this young man at school who, I guess there was, he was joking around with my daughters and other girls and over time it escalated to the point where he started getting physical and pushing and he got to the point where he pushed her and she had, and you know, so basically my son told him, do not put your hands on my, my sister or something to that effect.

All I know was he wound up doing it again, pushing her down another day. And she came home, she's like, look, my niece, you know, ipr my knee, blah, blah, blah. you know, all her little friends are like, oh my goodness, he's so awful. So they wanted to like, go get this guy. Well, apparently my daughter's twin was not having it, and he's not one of those kids who starts fights, but you're not gonna put your hands on his sister.

So there was a pre, I guess a premeditated fight. The fight took place, I got the video, everybody was throwing, you know, blows, and I see where my son caught the kid, the kid buckled. Now I'm glad it wasn't my son that got buckled, but my son buckled the kid and the kid got up, started screaming again, is also stuff. And you know, the rest is history about suspension. But let me tell you where I got mad.

One of my children's teachers, I guess she thought she was chiming in and saying, she told my daughter, I'm disappointed in your brother. There's a better way of handling this. 'cause you know, he, he doesn't, he's a good kid and you should have told him, or you should have stopped him and all sort of stuff. you know, I, because I've talked to the school, the tea, the, the principal. I lick that teacher up and I made sure the principal knew. I made sure the, I lit her up via email and I made sure the, the vice principal or whatever knew that I was lighting her up.

I'm like, number one, you don't need to talk to my daughter about what her brother should or should not have done. Let's start with that. It's outta line because see, this has been going on with this young man. He was putting his hands on my daughter. So she's not supposed to have her brother defend her because I already looked at school. No, if people put their hands on my kids, you do understand that's not how's gonna go down. We don't play these rules. Keep your hands to yourself.

So my son was like, oh, you're not going to put your hands on my sister, but for the teacher to jump in and come to yourself disappointed. I'm like, you can save your disappointment. And what you don't need to do is talk to my daughter about something that her brother did on her behalf, right outta I, especially when you don't even know the whole story. 'cause there was stuff in text messages, stuff like that. And, they had been saying, Hey dude, like, keep your hands to yourself. Keep your hands to yourself. Keep your hands to yourself over and over and over.

And you know, in my house, once my, my, my one son got wind of it was like, oh, absolutely not. That's enough of this. So he took care of it. Now, let me just say this. I don't advocate fighting. I do advocate for one, defending yourself to protecting your sister. Three, protecting your siblings. One is in it all needs to be. And so where I'm going with it was, although I was unhappy that there was a fight that took place.

I was happy with the fact that he defended his sister. I did not punish him. My husband and I, we did not punish him because that child was forewarned. Keep your hands to yourself or next time you're gonna fight me, what you're not gonna do is put your hands on. My sister pushing her down. What do you look like? Some boy pushed down a girl and he was pushing other girls too. But my daughter happened to be one of the ones that fell and hurt her. Me, it was a scrape. But the point was I got on the school, I'm like, well, you can go to the cameras.

'cause clearly you're not watching. I'm, should my kids not feel safe coming here to the school? Because the last time I, I check he has been told multiple times to keep his hands to himself. And there seems to be like, so next thing you know, there was a whole conversation about, yes, well we can't explain, you know, we gotta protect the privacy of the kids and I get it, blah, blah, blah. And we are delivering discipline. I'm like, I'm tired of hearing people talk about, hey, we have disciplined, where's the education? Because if this young man continues to do these things, then he's learning nothing.

Why did I bring this up? So I saw some messages on my son's phone, the snap. So the kids have Snapchat and everything else. And so apparently they were aware of a fight that was going to take place today. And so I did not want him to snap anything. I took my phone and I recorded it. I recorded it from my phone and I sent it to the school. And I said, look, based off, I, I didn't put this in there, but, 'cause there was previous conversations about, well, when things are permitted, blah, blah, blah.

but I'm like, look, this is getting ready to go down today. This is another plan's fight. And the one who said it was the one, so he was saying there were, they're gonna be these young individuals who are going to be fighting today, but he also told my son, or he told somebody else, I take that back and I'm gonna get into it, blah, blah, blah. So the way I look at it is like this. If you're gonna be putting your hands on somebody, just expect to get hands be put on you.

That's number one. Number two, that teacher, she, she apologized to me. I'm just kind of like, you should not be jumping in the middle of a fight, meaning talking about something you don't even have the facts on. I understand he was defending his sister. I'm like, you can mind your business. The fact of the matter is, this child was putting his hands on my daughter. I one time, is it not for me? And he learned the lesson. He learned the lesson. He learned, well, I guess I shouldn't put hands on somebody.

Now what makes this also interesting is I still have another child that attends this school in middle school right now. We had to tell the older brother, do not get involved in this because back when he was in sixth or seventh grade, he was always fighting. I'm like, why are you always fighting people? I don't know. So we're like, Uhuh, don't even jump in this one. This has already been handled. Because now apparently the kid who originally put hands on my child I think there was, he has a cousin or sister.

I, I don't know, whatever it is, in the same grade as my child. My child does not back down from a fight. Now he's gotten a lot better. He has matured. So he, he doesn't really get into that anymore. But what you're not gonna do is put hands on his siblings. Right? So we said stay out of it. It's been handled. All is fine, all is good Now. So the question is, am I wrong for telling my kids you are to defend each other?

I don't care if they're right or wrong. One's in it all gets in it, right? I I, am I wrong for telling that teacher she needed to stay out of it because she didn't have all of the information and he had the right to defend her because clearly this young man thought it was okay to keep putting his hands on my daughter. Not that she can't defend herself, she shouldn't have to, and her brother made sure Nippy take care of this so you don't have to. Again, I'm like looking at that teacher like you, I mean, well, I didn't talk to her face to face and she apologized and I didn't respond to her email because I think she got the message.

I was like, no ma'am, you don't need to be talking to my daughter, telling her you're disappointed in her brother. Why would you wanna bring up? As far as I know, my daughter could be traumatized. You're reopening trauma. It did not make any sense that this teacher would go to my daughter to tell her that she was disappointed in the actions of her brother who defended her from a known aggressor. By the way, now I'm not trying to take down this kid 'cause these are kids.

But the fact of the matter is, he had done it more than once. For all I know. He probably liked her. Just didn't even know how to say it. Right? But it doesn't matter. Keep your hands to yourself. So I let that teacher know and she apologized. To be honest, I don't feel bad at all. I'm asking if I'm wrong, but I'm gonna be honest, I don't even care what you're reading. She should have stayed outta it. And actually, the principal saw my, my email and I talked to her, the vice principal, and he's like, actually, you're right.

It's, it's not appropriate. She shouldn't have jumped in it. She didn't even have all the information. Anyway, you can let me know what your thoughts are. I'm not gonna change my mind though. Now I'm sitting here, I'm like, yeah, I'm not changing my mind. I was like, she should mind her business. I teach my kids to protect each other. That's their job. All right, let me know your thoughts.

Kate. Like Clark, Kate Clark, Kate, like Clark. Y'all just love talking about Kate Clark. I just have to throw it on just to be petty....