S4E87 A co-worker told me men are the prize

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Transcript

Speaker 1 (0s): All right. Goes and bow ties. So I meant to do this earlier this week, but I was caught up, caught up. A coworker came into work, and he was telling me how he was sitting around with some guys, and somehow they were miraculously discussing the Bible, the book of Genesis, which is totally fine. And he wanted to talk to me about, I, I, I don't know why he wanted me to know this, but he wanted me to know that God has order, you know, for, for men and women.

And I'm like, oh, okay. He's like, yes, there's order. And I'm like, oh, okay. He's like, you know, it's God, and you know, you have the husband and wife, children, stuff like that. And I'm like, okay. Like, I'm just trying to figure out what the issue is. He's like, and that's why men are the prize. So I was like, okay, I'll indulge this time. I'm like, come again. He was like, you know, we're the prize. And I'm like, first and foremost, any man who's sitting around with a group of other men having these conversations about the p enter prize already as a red flag to me.

I'm like, because it's just really weird. And he's like, well, what do you mean by that? And we were just, you know, going back and forth. And I was like, first and foremost, I don't know why a man, now look, I'm a little bit more old school, okay? Even though this guy is older, I'm more old school. Most men I know operate under, you know, those, like, he finds a wife, finds a good thing. But this guy wanted me to know that men are the prize.

I'm like, first, why do you wanna tell me that? Because I'm married and you're not. And number two, I don't know how a man could look at himself as a prize. Now, I don't know why anyone wants to be having conversations about why they are the prize I think men or women is such a weird conversation to have. But first and foremost, I told him I find it to just be just really the suspect behavior. And I'm gonna tell you the reason why. Oh geez, this is just moving too much.

Okay? Now I want you to listen to me for a second. When you think of beautiful, right? You wouldn't typically go up to a man and say, you're beautiful, right? like, you would kind of regard men as maybe handsome or something. That doesn't mean that a man can't be beautiful, but you generally don't use words that it's kind of like accepting in society, where you don't look at men as beautiful. You may look at them as handsome and strong and these things, and you consider things beautiful, more reserved for like a delicate thing.

Maybe women or, or something along those lines. So I talked to him, I said, you know, for so long when you think about a prize, and I said, now listen for a second, before you start getting in your feelings, you think about something that you've won that you've, you've, you've cherish, right? When you think of a gift, usually gifts are really pretty.

They're beautifully wrapped, you know, they're very pleasing to the eye. They, they're delicate, they're all these things, right? Think about, even if it's a car, sometimes people put a bow on it. Or like, when you win a prize, like it's usually has like this connotation of the bow or something like that. And those things are given very feminine qualities, something that you've won that you cherish. Now, of course, you don't wanna look at women as a thing that they've been won, but I mean, look at our athletes, for example.

To them, they believe a prize is someone that doesn't look like somebody like me, for example, right? Like, but they've won a certain type of woman, right? And usually men, when they're competing for notoriety and everything like that, what are they competing for in society? That's like the grand ultimate prize. That it's, it's usually financial resources, a top tier woman, right? That type of thing. Those things come with like this prize thing.

So when I think of a prize, I, think of like when, like even like when men propose, generally get down on one knee or whatever, they're asking like, Hey, I have the honor of asking this woman to be my wife, right? There's a whole notion and connotation around this thing called prize. And I was just kinda like, it's usually something that you cherish that you care for. 'cause you wanna win, right? There's a whole reason why men, peacock and And, they sit with their legs open, And, they take up space, And, they get big shoulders and, and arms and, and And.

they want to show that they can care and cherish something, right? That they can provide. you know, back in the days when men were hunters and gather gatherers, you know, women would choose certain type of men. Men, right? Because men wanted to show that, you know, if I can do these things, I'm worthy of grabbing, like, or, or, or securing this woman, which is why women came with the dowry back in the day, right? Like, oh, I've got the grand prize and the dowry and women, right?

Like, they had to show that they were capable when they, when they achieved certain things, they would get this woman, they would, they would get this woman. And so I just thought it was interesting that he thought of himself as a prize. And I was like, I don't know if you wanna use that word, because none, at least for those who claim he wanna be traditional, they usually are going to show how capable they are so they can win over this woman.

I want you think about all these men for a second who are out here on these podcasts. At the end of the day, most of these men are only successful because they talk about women, they bring women on these podcasts, et cetera. They meet women, they're not talking about anything else. Think about what they're, they're trying to teach these guys how to find a woman, right? That is the penultimate goal, the prize, whatever, right? So it's not that women don't wanna find a husband, all these other things like that, but I just find it to be suspect behavior, to sit in circles, men and women talking about your deprive.

It's just so weird. However, if you're gonna have these conversations, the fact of the matter is, it's not fair, right? Just like, it's not fair that if one man and woman decides they both wanna go out and sleep around with a hundred other, you know, possibilities, right? The men are gonna be viewed differently than women, right? They both have the same deed, yet, you know, they're, they're, they're just gonna view men and women differently. It's not fair. The the standards are not equal, right?

And I would say the same thing goes with this whole notion of being a prize. It's not equal, right? They're like, why can't I, I'm like, why do men wanna be perceived as the guy that's being like being taken care of? I don't understand this mentality. And this man is like 50 something years old, never been married, no children. He wants to be seen as the prize. And he really was leaning and double down on it. And I was like, this is why you are where you are right now. He's like, well, my volume is fine. I'm like, the fact that you're talking about the volume of women that you're capable of sleeping with already lets me know where you are.

It's just such a bizarre conversation. I think is very suspect, of course. But to me, I guess, 'cause I grew up during a time where it's just old school men typically pursued women. And. they wanted to prove to women that they were capable of taking care of women and all these other things. It doesn't mean that women didn't have responsibilities and all of that, although men won't see that, right? They'll, they'll freak out. But what I'm saying is, all right, I'm back.

So apparently having my thing in the phone holder was just tacky, and it's just not doing well. So I'm gonna hold it like this, and I'm gonna end this shortly. I just find it weird that a man wants to be considered de prized. I don't understand that. It's not necessarily fair, it's not right. I totally get it. Sorry that I'm having to hold this like this. But ultimately, for him to sit there and be like, I'm the prized, I just thought it was weird. You have your traditional gender norms where men pursued women and men wanted to show that they were highly capable of taking care of women that they can provide and protect, right?

It, it's more biology. I would, I would even say it's even biological, right? Women typically have traits where we were smaller, we weren't as strong, et cetera. And so we wanted to be, we wanted whoever was going to, we were gonna be attached to, they had to prove that they could do these things. They had, oh, sorry. They had to, men had to prove that they could provide and protect, you know, traditionally over the years, men were the initiators.

I'm gonna be honest. Like, I wasn't in the business of approaching men. Like I just wasn't. I, I, I didn't do that. Okay? So with that being said, you know, when you start talking about this whole notion of being a prize, I don't know, I just find it weird that men want to be considered a prize. That doesn't mean that you're not considered a good catch, but there's just a connotation that comes with being a prize. It, it's, it, it's something that you cherish. like you don't that, that women don't cherish men, but it, it's not something that you say like, oh, we gotta cherish men.

Do you understand what I'm saying? It's, there's like this delicateness that comes with being deprived or being whatever it is, right? At the end of the day, women still take care of men too. Like, and, and way women take care of men isn't always necessarily like financially or something like that, right? There's other ways you take care of men, but I don't know. It's just really weird if a man wants to be considered a prize, because at the end of the day, the notion of a prize is the gift, right?

God gave women a man, you know, called her, helped me. For him, it was still a gift, right? So I look at that, it's such a strange thing to me that he was, was talking about this, and I'm gonna say this, I don't know why. I feel like men are struggling in their masculinity wanting to be considered like there's men who apparently are literally sitting out here having these conversations about being the prize. It's just really weird.

I don't know why you would have this conversation. I don't know why men are in this era of wanting to be taken care of. I don't know what that means. I, I'm not familiar with that. I didn't grow up with that. I just know that I grew up in a, in a time where men were a lot more masculine. And when I say masculine, it's like they wanted to do certain things, right? I'm not saying they didn't make their mistakes, but I, I never knew men wanted to be the prize.

It, it's kind of, it just gives this, like, when you think of a prize, to me it's a very feminine kind of word, right? I mean, we can sweat hairs all day and overly dissected, and maybe I'm doing that too. But generally speaking, when you think of a prize or gift, it has a bow. It's delicate, it's feminine, it's gorgeous, it's beautiful, right? I don't know why men are wanting to be prize. It's like, like they're sitting in these, these groups.

I was like, I think a suspect behavior that you're sitting in a group talking about this in general. I'm just saying, I, I don't understand why you wanna do that. If you think about, like, even like back in the day, who was the surprised? If you look back when men were like knight, right? Like, at least like in in literature, they were nights. And then they, they, they, they would compete for the right, for the woman, right? That, that he won, he won the prize. I. Think about things like what, I don't know why, but the notion of like West side story, like comes to mind when this guy was like Maria singing to Maria I.

think about like in Hollywood, what does that mean? you know, like, like a pretty woman, right? She was a hooker, but like at the end, he still climbed these stairs with this rose or something in his teeth. He was scared of heights, but he was willing to risk it all for this woman, right? I guess to me, and granted I'm, I'm a little bit more nostalgic, but I never want to hear men's talk about like, I'm the bride.

It's just such a, it's so sad to me. It's so feminine. I don't understand that behavior. But, you know, men are for Venus, women are from Mars or whatever the saying is, but I usually don't like to hear of men putting themselves in such a very feminine kind of connotation. So But. anyway, I'm curious to hear your thoughts. I'm sorry that the angle of this is weird since this is acting weird and overheating in my phone holder. So I had to hold it up close like a weirdo. I didn't wanna be that close.

all right, let me get on outta here. Let me know your thoughts. Go ahead and subscribe and I'll catch up with you....