S4E90 When black kids get adopted

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Transcript

Speaker 1 (0s): Okay, good morning Bo and Bowties. I just wanna say before I start yammering on, I just caught a glimpse of myself and it's giving mushroom vibes from like me brothers. And all I could hear in my head is, okay, I'm sorry you guys know I'm silly all by myself.

So I just wanted to just talk about a couple of things in relation to when black children are adopted by people who don't look like them. First, I just wanna talk about my opinion, and secondly, I'll talk about what I've noticed. So my opinion on black children getting adopted by non-black parents, I don't care.

Now, I know that seems kind of harsh, but like I don't care if someone has gone in and loves this child or these children. Why would I care about the color of the adopted peered skin? Now I say that at a very high level. I say that at a very high level, right? Because I am not foolish to think that there aren't things that come with that.

But generally speaking, if someone has chosen to go in and say, I could love these, this child, I can love these children. If someone has said, I wanna open my home to children, don't have a home, I don't care. I don't care if you're black, I don't care if you're white, I don't care. And I find it just really odd when a bunch of people who look like me when a complaint about people who don't look like me adopting children because I don't see too many people who look like me adopting black children.

I remember I wanted to foster or possibly adopt. My husband was like, no, we've got 500 kids already. So I don't know why this truck next to me is so loud right now. Like, it's like ignorant kind of loud. Like I don't even understand it. It's like loud for no reason at all. Anyway, so I don't understand why, why people who look like me wanna take a bumper bridge against people who don't look like me, who wanna love these children.

Now I understand there's all kinds of things that come with it. Like there are some kids who get mistreated. Well, there's kids who get mistreated in in homes by black native parents. There's people who get mistreated in homes by white parents against white kids and and Asian parents against the Asian kids in their own home. There's all kind of forms of abuse. So yes, there could be that type of thing going on, but to not have parents take a chance on adopting children and allowing them to languish in, in a situation that's not good.

Yes, I know that some of these children are confused and white identified. I understand that. I feel like we get on our high horse, we're so blacky black, black, that we're not even human. And no, I am not blind. But I'm like, come on, there are people out there who don't think white people should adopt black children.

And my counter to that is, well, who do you think should be adopting the black children? Because we know black people aren't adopting black children like that. Heck, we got black people who don't even wanna be with each other and take care of their own. We've got men who don't even wanna be in a home. So we've got men who are fathering children and don't even want to be in a home, let alone get married to a woman and have a family. But you're mad that people want to adopt your children.

When I say your children, the community children, I'm like, you can all the way miss me with that. I don't care at this point. If someone wants to love a child, I'm trying to figure out why this truck is so ignorantly loud and I'm trying to figure out how can I get around this truck? Goodness. So anyway, that's just why, that's my opinion on it. Now let me say this. This is what I have noticed. Now. I have been around several people who were black or young, like children who were black, adopted by white parents.

Number one, what I notice, what I notice, and it could just be I have limited experience, okay, I wanna make this clear. One, I noticed that they tend to be girls, black girls. Now it's not a hundred percent of the time, but I've only, I've only seen black girls so far.

That's not necessarily wrong, it just means that's what I have seen is that I'm seeing black girls get adopted. Okay? And I remember when I was talking to my husband about possibly fostering or adopting, I said I would go grab a boy even though I already have three boys, but I would grab a boy or maybe like a brother sister combo.

But that, that's primarily because I know that, you know, our, our young men need so much right now. I, they all need something. But my husband was like, I just don't have anything else left to give. you know? And I understand in fairness, to me is like this, such a commitment and there's a lot of things that come and said, I get it. 'cause you, you're taking on a lot of trauma. There's a lot that comes with it and I get it. But from what I have seen in some of the scenarios, it's blame.

It's been black girls. Now, I can't speak to whether or not people don't want black boys. I don't wanna say that. I'm just telling you what I have observed. Number two, it has been kind of split from what I have observed between these young ladies. Right? On the one hand, there's the one parent who seems to be very invested in making sure that her daughter sees people who look like her.

She wears her hair and, and black girl herself, so to speak. The mom has learned how to do black hair. She's done a a great job. She looks like a young black girl. And it, it's great. She doesn't seem to be white identified, but I don't talk to the young girl like that because it's kind of creepy. I like how the mom appears to be exposing the girl to everything.

And I think she's definitely trying to just educate her the best way she knows how, boy, because it's not just her whole family. And I love how she's, that's just where she's at with it. She doesn't apologize for being white or anything like that. I don't know why you would. And the reason why I bring that up is because a lot of times it's like, okay, I shouldn't say apologize. What do I, let me rephrase that. She doesn't hide anything.

She's just, it's just is, and I can't speak to everything that's in her home. but I can tell how much she loves, you know, this girl and or her children in general, right? Loves her. I've also noticed in other scenarios, not related to this one particular family. I don't know these children well at all. But, you know, I noticed one girl, oh, one girl, like I can only just by the limited actions or, or interactions. And I, I noticed that this young lady, I I, I don't know what, what's going on.

Like, I, I can tell she grew up in a family with, with white parents. I'll leave that there. And if, you know, you know, I noticed that from when I've seen multiple children who've been just adopted in general, I'm only going by what I have seen. It's these young, young people want to be seen. They tend, that's just my observation. It could just be, it's limited, but it's not bad that they're kind of like outgoing.

you know, they're not gonna cower in a corner. But that's just my, my my li limited interactions. With all that being said, I don't even care. I think for me, my heart is more warmed because someone said, I want you, like I love you and let's love each other and let's grow with each other. And I have, I can give you my love if you're willing to accept it.

you know what I mean? Like, I just, to me, and I know it seems like I'm looking at this pie in the sky, but I just kind of feel like when anyone, anybody can go and just grab children and say, Hey, let, let's make a go at it. Walk into the family. I don't care the color. I care that they try to raise them to be human beings. I know there will be some families who are like, they, they understand that there is a reality of living in the United States, knowing that, you know, kids that are brown, they're gonna have, you know, a different set of obstacles and I think as long as they tackle it head on, I mean And, they, you know, seek guidance and that type of thing.

I think it's fine. Is it perfect? No. But the situation that the child was at was imperfect, right? So, I don't know. I just, to me, and based off of what I've seen and heard, I guess, 'cause I saw some things. It was about a week or so ago, something came across my feed and I was kind of like irritated. 'cause I'm like, I don't even care. Yes, we know some of these kids are gonna grow up being white identified for a while, or they'll have some confusion. I get it. But should they not be loved?

Should they not get a chance to experience the safety of a family, of a known thing? Like, I don't know. I just feel like at that point, I don't care. Why would you wanna have these children languish in a bad situation versus being adopted by somebody who wants them that loves them? So that's just where I'm at with it. I'm like, I don't care the color of your skin. I don't, I mean, I care if you're gonna cause harm in terms of like actively trying to bring harm to a child.

'cause there are scenarios out there like that. But there's scenarios out there like that in families with, you know, biological children. So anyway, I'm curious to see what, or hear what your thoughts are and don't laugh at my hair. So go ahead and subscribe, leave a comment. I'm curious to see what, hear what your thoughts are.

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