S4E104 I caped for single women, although they don't respect married women

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Transcript

Speaker 1 (0s): All right. Good morning everyone. Black, Opinionated, Woman here. Also known as a bow. So before I get into it, I just wanna say I took my braids out yesterday. So I have these two like princess layer buns here. They're a little tight for my liking, so I might have a headache, but you know, it's like I got some booties on my head. But look, it is what it is. We gotta, we gotta look. I didn't have time, right? I gotta wash and do things to my hair and I don't know what I'm gonna do today. So we just have to roll with it, okay? So we're not gonna judge, I mean, maybe a little bit and I know I would deserve it.

Let's not judge with me having two booties on my head. Now, look, I was yiping and yapping last week, so I had some downtime and I was talking with a coworker of mine. Now, this is a gentleman that's a little older and well, a lot of bit older, significantly older. And somehow we were having a conversation and he started talking about marriage and children.

He's always talking about this type of thing. He likes to talk about relationships and how to find it. I, I don't know why he's telling me about it, because I'm already married with like four children. So, but he likes to share the information and I'm like, okay, but somehow, I mean, 'cause he, he beats these books and study this. There's some people he follow, I don't know, this man is pushing close to 70. Nice guy though. So he always likes to share little tidbits on relationships and sometimes with a different coworker.

But he was just him and myself and we were just chatting, having a good time. But he wanted me to know that single women, well anyone in general though, he was focused on women, single women who don't get married and have children are selfish. Now I want you to let that one sink in for a second. Now, keep in mind, several months ago, maybe it was two months, I don't even know how long ago it was.

I had several videos talking about single women coming for a married woman for some reason. Now, as a woman myself, I have to defend womanhood, right? Even though the single women were like going psycho a couple months ago, but I can't let you just come for a women like that, right? So I never thought I was gonna be in this position where I had to go Cape for the women now too, right? I just tried to cape for myself, but I hate for women because I'm a woman and, and, and more specifically a black woman.

And in this conversation, obviously, it became much more pointed. There was a level of specificity. I'm trying to get around this truck 'cause this truck is not going fast enough for me. Alright? If you get back in this lane so I can get my exit. So there was a level of specificity to this, this discussion in, in relation to black women. And I started telling him like, well, there were so many things, but I said, number one, the numbers have come down actually with women having children across the board, and especially in western societies or more progressed societies around the world.

He's like, you don't think that's selfishness? Men have this innate need to procreate, so they're being selfish. I'm like, well, the two things that you mentioned, men needing or wanting to procreate, and women not procreating with men makes them selfish. You really talk about two separate things, but I don't wanna speak on the men. I'm not a man right now, right? So like, I don't want to speak on men's And. they desire to procreate.

Although I think men and women were put on this earth so that we could appropriate. But when it came to the women, I said, well, wait a second, why is it that the woman has to be deemed selfish? Because we are all selfish. Like for people who had children, why didn't they have more? you know? I said, but let, let's, let's unpack this further. I'm like, you want these women to have children with men?

I'm like, why should they have children with men? Now, keep in mind I'm like, I don't really wanna go out of my way to Cape for single women, not because I don't think they're worthy. I'm just kinda like, I just had a couple of words about single women trying to denigrate married women a couple months ago. But you know, right is right, wrong is wrong or whatever. I was like, like, what you don't need to do is come after single women for not wanting to appropriate. Now I'm like, this is the thing.

Why would they want to be in a relationship with someone where it's taxing on them? And he looked at me like, like I was speaking in tongues or maybe pig Latin. I don't know. Like I was like, shut, you know, che up, up a, I forgot how to even speak Pig Latin. So he was like, but what do you mean?

I said, you want women, basically he is like, I, think it's really good for women to, to basically have all these children. I said, well, in what context? I'm like, because during our conversation we were talking about the cost of living and everything too. And I said, wait a second. It's really expensive to raise children. I know, you know, because we have children. My kids are in middle school, high school and college.

So I'm like, I, I don't know why you would want them to sign up for that, that sort of thing. I said, for one, women are tired and they're opting out. He's like, well, they're so selfish. I'm like, well, let's say they are selfish. Why should they opt back in? Because like, we should be having children, men wanna appropriate. I'm like, so you're making this about men because men wanna appropriate, women should bear their children. I said, so first of all, they need to look, know that it is an honor for a woman to lend her body and her time and, and her her emotions and everything to care for your legacy.

So because men want to have kids, women should just give them children. I said, you do understand that women are tired because you can't afford to have a family based off on income. And I said, now let's be clear. These men are not traditional. You got these men who want traditional women when they're not traditional. And he looked at me like work. I said, oh, yes, there are people who are not even aware of this argument, by the way.

So I said, you've got men who want these traditional women, but I said, the men are not traditional. They can't afford to take care of these families. They can barely afford to take care of themselves. And, they got really quiet again, I said, they cannot afford a wife and children. Not in the traditional sense. I said, so now the women are getting tired because the men are not capable of taking care of these families. And now women have to work. And now they have agency in themselves, And, they can make decisions for themselves, the life that they want in their bodies.

I said, but look, women have to work. And now if they bear your children, they also have to work. Take care of the house, take care of the children, and also cater to you too. And at this point, if you're not going to be an active participant in the process, 'cause many men are not, some are, and he got quiet. He's like, yeah, you're right. I said, why would they wanna sign up for that?

I'm like, they, they were married in the past because they didn't have agency in themselves. They didn't have options. They were told they had to get married and the man made all the money. So I don't wanna make this about money, but money is a component in this. I'm like, well look, now that they have agency in themselves, they're like, you know what? I'm opting out. I don't need this. I don't, I'd rather work and take care of myself versus being in this unhappy relationship.

And it doesn't mean that they're unhappy, but they don't wanna have to be in a relationship and not be able to take care of themselves because they also have to take care of children in that house and everything else. I'm like, why would they wanna sign up for that? He's like, I just think it's selfish. I'm like, right. So you want them to take on all the labor just so you can say that we had some children. And then he got quiet again. I said, they don't wanna deal with it. And I, I went into some other things, but I'm just like laughing.

I'm like, oh my goodness, I'm caping for all the single women. But it's true. Some of them just don't wanna have children. It's not a crime. Some of them are. They, they have trauma. you know, maybe they were one of, I don't know, 15 kids or something, or maybe, I don't know. I don't know. And so they're like, I don't want this. Maybe they had food insecurity, I don't know.

And if you were in a large family, they were like, I don't ever wanna feel like that again. I'm not having kids. I don't know. I said, look at the state of this world. You've got people who don't know how to identify on any given basis. They wake up and like now they gotta be somebody else. And they're looking at the, the politicians and they're like, I don't want this. I said, you got people who just wanna have a, a little family And. they can't afford to buy a home. I said, and you know, who's sitting in all these homes?

All of you senior types. And so in my generation, and check this out, you guys can't really even sell your homes. You guys have multiple homes, but half of you can't sell 'em anyway because nobody can afford to buy 'em. So you want women to say, Hey, I'll bear children. And it's like there's a standard that maybe they wanna live by. Maybe they wanna have their children live by a standard. They're like, screw that, they're opting out.

And I said, and now men have to to deal with it too. They've gotta be better. The economy's gotta be better. Women have to be better too. Don't get me wrong. I said, but look, they are being better. And now men are mad because they're opting not to have as many kids And. they, and because they're not having as many kids, right? There's a lot going on. So he's like, after he, he kind of got quiet and I was like, well, what would you have them do?

He said, well, you know what, you're right about some things. I was like, yeah. I said, it's not perfect, but these women are like, no, thank you. When I was younger, I was like, you're not gonna saddle me with 500 kids. I mean, I don't know how I ended up before. I mean, I know how I ended up before, but I was like, I'm good. You get to see the world travel, you get to explore things you wanna do. You live life on your own terms.

It's fantastic. And a lot of times people think it's about money, money, money. It's not just about that. Sometimes it's like the ability to to to actualize for yourself. Now, I got on a single woman because they always talk about their money. Of course, you know, I have more money. But what's beyond that? And like I said, that's another discussion. What's beyond that? For some people, it doesn't necessarily mean kids. So anyway, I was camping for single women, because at the end of the day, I care about women even though single women don't care for married women at all.

But, and now I'm seeing that a little bit tongue in cheek because I don't think it's that deep all the time. but I could be wrong, but I, I, I had, I had seen the trend of women just dunking and crapping on married women. Like we were taking missiles. I'm telling you like Salvos were coming out, we were getting blown up. And I'm like, we're not even coming for the single woman. I, I will say this, I feel like single women should be able to make that choice for themselves.

You need to stop judging them for it. They don't wanna have children. And it's okay, is it good for society? People are gonna always have kids. Maybe not at the rate of what we were having them before, but you can't put this all on single women. And look, single women are making better choices, right? Choices. You're complaining about the abortions and this, that and the other. They don't want children. They're opting outta children. They're getting, they're using of contraceptives other than abortion, obviously, but I mean, or an addition.

I don't know, whatever. What I'm, what I'm, what I'm saying is if you're complaining about, like for example, within the, the black community, you know, all of the children who are in are in these homes that are not healthy per se, and they've reduced the number of kids that they're having. And now this is still a problem. I'm like, you can't sit there and talk about you have, you want women to have children, but men don't want to be married, focus on men wanting to be married. They don't wanna be married. But we're talking about, well, women need to not talk about, I don't know why single are talking about not having children.

I'm like, have you spoken to any of these men? They don't wanna be married. They're so busy thinking that everybody's a gold digger and everybody's coming after their money. I'm like, well, if you're a black man, the average black man is not worth any money. So what money do you think they're coming after? I'm like, and if that's all that you're thinking about, all the, how sad for you, like there's this unhealthy fascination about like, well, I don't wanna be divorced. I'm like, did you? Well, what about not wanting to be poor? Did you know that people fare better when they're married?

Generally speaking, there's exceptions to every rule. But we're not talking about the exceptions. I mean, like the men's argument is silly. Well, they're a gold digger. I'm like, the only people who don't have money are concerned about the gold being dug then that's the truth. It's the truth. Men are means they're not worried about women coming after money, right? I mean, you protect yourself, don't get me wrong. But the point I'm making is because if you're a man of means, you're not worried about somebody liking you, because that's part of the thing anyway, is that you are financially stable.

And for the record, let me just say this, this is a total like sidebar. I'm so sick and tired of people saying like, oh, she's a gold digger. I'm like, why does somebody be a gold digger? Because they want a man of means I know I did. I was like, no, bro, over here, because I don't take care of men, right? I could take care of myself. So why would I want somebody else's? Oh, absolutely not. I had a standard for myself. And so it wasn't so much I wanted to be in somebody's pockets, but I'm like, but what?

And it that this whole conversation around that is so silly to me. Like, she's a gold digger. I'm like, you don't even have any gold. What gold is she digging for? And part of the allure of somebody who is of means is more security. And I'm trying to figure out like, you should be like flattered with it. Yes. you know what? 'cause I feel like you have the capability, at least financially to take care of me. That's why that, that's the kind of stuff, that's why women go out there and have all these babies by these rich dudes.

It's security. I'm not saying it's right, but what I'm saying is it's security. Women, like all forms of security. I've said it in old videos. I said, we like financial security, physical security, sexual security, educational security, emotional security, spiritual security. We like security. And if somebody can take care of one of those things and then, then that's one less security that, that women have to, to worry about. Why would you wanna have children by a man who can't take care of it?

I mean, it happens all the time. but I just listened to these guys talking about, like, you go there. I'm like, cat, you don't have any gold. You're clearly a man without any means worried that somebody's gonna take your last little tiny little nugget shut up, worried about some other things. Anyway, I just think it top of my chest. So anyway, I caped for the single women. I didn't like the conversation he had. Now, obviously, we have much more to this conversation, but at the end of the day, I, I, we need to stop coming after women now. 'cause that's like the thing, like women who don't wanna have children are selfish.

I'm like, you are selfish. Are you offering a marriage? Are you offering us stability, emotional availability, all these things? No. Then shut up. Are you gonna put them in a house where they can raise their children? No. Then shut up. I mean, the whole thing is just so weird. all right, so this is a really good time for you to go ahead and subscribe to my channel, my little fledgling channel, and leave a comment and, and look, I've been wrong before.

I'll be wrong again. I don't think I'm wrong on this at all, but I'm curious to hear what your thoughts are. all right, So, let me go ahead and cut this off because I don't have anything else to say, but....