S4E130 Tussling with Complicated Hair and Beauty Standards

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Transcript

Speaker 1 (0s): Hello. all right, good morning. Bows and bow ties and beauty is her name. I'm hoping like you, excuse me, it's early. I titled this hair because that's all I can think of, but I really should have titled this Beauty So Luck. Let me just say this, okay.

First of all, let me just get all the stuff out of the way. Black, Opinionated, Woman, also known as Bo. Go ahead. Describe, leave a comment. Okay. Listen, all I wanna say, well, I have a lot to say. I wanna talk about hair number one for all of the women who look like me, I just think you guys are full of crap. It's, it's not just a hair, it's just beauty in general. We get out here, whether it's in life or on Jesus's internet and talking about we are the standard, all stuff like that.

And we do set standards. But what I realize when that I, I've alluded to this before, is it's, it's, it's the idea of being beautiful. I, I feel like it's all fake. I don't think we feel that way at all, because we go out of our way to first of all talk about wearing a protective style. but I'm gonna talk about all things beauty in a second. We talk about wearing a protective style.

If you're always wearing a so-called protective style, then it's just your hairstyle. It's not a protective anything. I just feel like we, we, what's the point of happening here? If you're never going to wear it, you're always wearing someone else's hair. Now look, it is not lost on me that I sit here in my full hypocrisy with my extensions, but in my full pick me fashion. I will say this. I also wear my regular hair all the time.

Okay? I go back and forth. The point I'm getting at is I listen to so many people talk about they're gonna protect their hair. I'm like, what are you protecting it from? Right? So if you're saying, I don't wanna have heat damage and literally stop damaging your hair, where's he in? Right? Just wear a different hairstyle. But see, what we're not talking about is how most of us, I'm just putting us in the community, putting myself in the community, don't like what we look like, like in our natural state.

We don't like it. And no one's getting honest out here in these streets. I gotta get comfortable in my car. I adjusted my seats. The whole situation going on here, okay? Most of us don't like what we look like when we see ourselves in our natural state because we are not used to seeing ourselves in our natural state. We're not what's going on out here in these streets? Come on, all this traffic. We don't like how we look in with our natural hair.

We don't like it at all. A lot of people say they do, but they don't. That's the reason why we have wig gate out here. We have so many people showing you how to put on the wig to protect your hair, which I'm like, protect it from what? I'd rather you just say you're just wearing the wig. What are you protecting it from? If it's overheating, stuff like that, than find a style that doesn't require you to put that much heat in your hair. I think the fact is people are not honest. That they don't find themselves beautiful with their hair in their natural state.

I'm, I'm just calling the thing of thing, let's go on to my next point. Since you know, I'm, I'm on a roll, I don't, I don't think that women who claim to be natural women, I don't wanna, I don't wanna say claim. What, what, what am I trying to say? Women who are into manipulating natural hair.

Now let, let me say this. Your hair, I feel like so many women are going out of their way to try to manipulate their hair to be some other texture. Now, don't get me wrong, I'll do braid outs, twist stuff and stuff like that because that'll last for a few days and I don't have to do anything else again. And I like the way it looks too. It is, I, I, I, I don't want to exclude myself from that, right?

But what I am saying is mo many of these women are out here. I don't think they think their hair is good enough. So they're doing everything they can now. A lot of women have gotten used to wearing their hair and they've just kind of accepted it and moved on, right? But a lot of women still are trying to manipulate their hair into something that it's not, Hey, these are my observations.

Okay, let's move on. And I've said this in other videos. Most of these women that you see on television, internet or whatever, what they consider to be glam is not textured. That is considered not glamorous. Now, you can disagree with me if you want to, but all you have to do is use your own eyes. You can learn through, some of it's just by observation in istic stuff like that, the concept of glam is straight.

I sometimes will use that kind of language, like, oh, I need to go get, maam, I need to get my hair done right and I need to go get it straight, or whatever. Now, I haven't had mine in seven years, right? So I just want to say for the record, I have been guilty of seeing things like that. But as, as you get older and you recognize like you gotta like, you know, do better, right? The point I'm getting at is most women don't find themselves, I'm talking about brown women now that, that have textured hair like mine.

They say, they'll say one thing, but and do something else. It's like true cognitive dissonance. Their concept of glam is not their hair. Now, I don't think there's anything wrong with manipulating your hair and changing it up, but what I'm saying is when they, when talk about getting beautiful, it's like, well, not the way it grows out of my hair. It has to be something else. I think there's a lot of false bravado in terms of all this, loving myself, loving my hair stuff, whatever.

Because if you have to do something that requires you to, I guess look nice, I want you to look at what happens. Either get somebody else's hair or you go out of the way to make sure your hair looks as straight as possible. And there's nothing wrong with that, by the way. There's nothing wrong with straight hair. I sometimes wear straight hair, just not often 'cause I don't wanna be bothered. but I just wanted to call it out. Like, we got women out here in these streets making it seem like they're one thing.

I'm like, you're so full of it. You literally are wearing bust down leaves. And it's not like the worst thing in the world. But like, they just say, Hey, I don't like my hair. I just wanna wear weave if I want to wear these extensions or whatever it is, right? Don't try to sit there, say, oh, I'm wearing a protective hairstyle. You're not protecting anything. If anything, most of you guys are ripping out your edges. We have full on edge gate going on, you know, so I'm just calling up Leah. See, I wanna talk about beauty for a second.

I don't understand what is happening with everybody wearing so much makeup. They look like a bunch of queens that like to go dragging, if you know what I mean. It's, it's, it's like almost ugly in a way. It's starting to look clownish, the amount of makeup I think like makeup isn't bad, but I'm like, why are you wearing so much makeup and we can't see the beauty of your face?

Like, there's so much going on with some of these young, not young ladies, these older ladies. It's like, I don't get it. Like, I understand if you're like a television personality, right? Like I get that part, right? like you have to show up on camera and there's, you know, norms that you need for the industry. but I don't understand why women think beauty is looking like everything else other than what I am. Hey, look, don't get mad at me.

Do not get mad at me. I know, I recognize that some of the things that I said sounds a little picky ish. I get it. You know, I'm gonna have to own that because I'll be like, not me, but I get that. I get it, I get it, I get it, I get it. And like I said, I call up my own hypocrisy as I sit here with my, my extensions. But what I will say is, I, my, my pick in my true pick me fashion is I will also like wear my regular hair.

It is what it is. And you know what you wanna know what's so interesting? 'cause I know how so many people try to subscribe to like European standards. When I wear my hair in a natural state, I get more compliments, I get more, I get more compliments from people who don't look like me, than people who look like me. And that's because the people who look like me are just like conquer individuals. They'll be the first ones to tear you down before somebody else. But when I wear my hair and aids like regular state, I get more compliments like that.

And of course I get compliments if I wear it straight, which is rare. But, but just because obviously it's a sweat up and then people are like, oh, it looks nice. but I also, when I wear my hair in this regular state, I get compliments in that too. But it's useful for people who don't look like me 'cause they're not color. The people who look like me don't like the way they look naturally. So they're trying to look like something else they can say that's not true. I don't believe them.

Now, when I, I will say this. If you are wearing your hair straight, if you have texture your hair and you're wearing it straight, I don't necessarily think that means if you want to look like somebody else, but when you're going outta your way to buy 500 wigs and stuff like that, curly wigs, this wig, that wig, every texture other than what you've got and that's all you wear, or you never wear your hair. That lets me know you don't really like the way you look, the way your hair is.

The way you look is not good enough. So you have to mimic someone else. Now, the reason why I don't wear wigs is 'cause I don't like wigs. I don't want anything covering my head and I, I have to have my scalp breathe. Like it's just not a thing for me. Never has been. I've only had maybe one or two leaves in my life and that's all I got. Like, I just never, it's just not a thing for me. That's, but that's me.

If you're wearing your hair straight, I don't think that means, because everybody, like people, every, every brace will straighten the hair, curl your hair. All the people who have straight hair always wanna put curls in their hair. And the people who have curls in their hair always wanna wear straight. And that goes across the board. I said what? I said, okay, however, circling back, if you're going out of your way to to, to get up with these different wigs and, and like the, the, the what baby, I don't even know what they call it.

And the, I'm like, okay, there's something else going on. You don't like the way you look, you don't like the way God made you. If that's all you do all the time. If you're doing that with your own hair, fine, but let, let's not pretend like you're protecting it from something. You are hiding your hair, you're hiding it. Just call it the way I see it. And you don't have to agree.

And that's okay. But y'all need to get honest. We need to get honest about hair and beauty. I don't think we truly are loving the way we are in our natural self. And if this doesn't apply to you, then get out your feelings, then it doesn't apply. Go ahead, let it fly. If it doesn't apply, let it fly. Okay? Now I on the other hand, am kind of like delusional and I'm into myself, so it doesn't really matter.

I'm like, oh, I'm amazing, right? Like, level of delusion. I get it. But for the most part, I'm pretty much happy. you know, like I, I could've come out worse. I mean this top tear right here, I mean because you know, God doesn't play about me. Oh gosh, no. Maybe I should start wearing mascara. I actually do like mascara. I just never put it on 'cause I just don't I. think I traveled with some, I might put some on today and I be like, wow, popping the locking eyelashes at work.

I might even put some lips in. I see I have a lip gloss, but it's like almost like the, the same colors, my lips. It doesn't look like it. I wear lip gloss every day. I'm a lip gloss girly. I keep it in my jackets. I keep it in all my cars. I keep it in my little purse thing. I keep so much lip gloss. So, but that's just me I know I digress. The point I'm getting at about beauty is I do wear lip gloss, right? Obviously I don't look like a completely changed person. Like the makeup that I wear is so light, which is basically lip gloss because that's all I really much, pretty much have time for.

Occasionally I might put on some mascara, but like, it's not a thing. all right? So that's all I got. So leave a comment. Don't get mad if some guy, it is like, yeah, like you don't, like, you don't wanna be put on a touch of war paint because a lot of these women do. It's just like a lot. I'm like, your skin's just gonna be bad and you know, don't get mad at me. And don't argue with me.

Argue with yourself. 'cause I don't wanna argue. all right, bye.

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