S4E137 Skin bleaching and low self esteem

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Transcript

Speaker 1 (0s): Okay, good morning. Let's see, is the day after Thanksgiving. I wasn't gonna go in, but I decided to just pull a short day early. I'll be done by like nine, 10 o'clock or whatever it is. But yeah, so you know, I was hanging with my sissies yesterday. They came over with their children to my house. We had a good time. Let me see. So my sister, let me tell you, my sister is a whole hot mess.

I love her so much, but you know, because her and her friends are mess, but they're funny. So she said, Hey, remember my friend so and so. I was like, barely. She was like, well, you know my, well, she had her other friend, I'm trying to protect the names, you know, saw her with her siblings and everything. And so my sister was like, girl. So she was basically imitating her friend when she, when her friend was like, girl.

So I'm like, what? And so my other sister was sitting next to me and I had my niece, she's older, And they were just like, what? And she was like, I'm going to show you a before and I'm gonna show you an after. Okay. So by the way, let me just say excuse the hair for a second because I need to wash and, and and do something to it. But my sister was there, we didn't have a lot of time, but she gave me a really good trim, but I had too much product in my hair. But, 'cause she has her license, even though she's a licensed business professional type person, but she also has her cosmetology license.

She used to be a hairstylist, so she knows how to cut hair also. So anyway, she gave me a really good trim slash cut. So unfortunately you can't see it. And I didn't drink into my hair, so I'm just gonna run in, do a little something, something to come outta work and hopefully I don't run into too many people anyway, so she's just like, girl talking about a friend. And I was like, what? So she shows me a picture of her friend beforehand. Now the person that I vaguely remember, 'cause I didn't really know her like that.

I mean, I didn't really see her often. She was tall, she was kind of a big girl, heavyset, dark skinned, all of the stuff, right? Normal chick. And, and she used to always try to put my, my sister down and say things like, nobody wants anybody skinny and all sort stuff. And at the back then she was on a slimmer side, not slim, she just wasn't big. So she used to always try to put my sister down. Anyway, long story short, they're not really friends anymore. But my sister's friend had run into her and she was like, so I'm like, what are you talking about?

She shows me, wait, what is going on here? Okay, so she shows me a before and after of this tall, heavy sex woman, dark skinned, all sort this stuff, let me tell you. And apparently she used to always have an issue with light skinned women. You think, 'cause you're light, you're cute. Like this has been going on. This was like probably like 15, 20 years ago. I don't know, whatever. This woman doesn't even look like herself. She has completely changed skin tone.

Okay? She went from being, I'm trying to find a good example. She was a really dark skinned girl to, she's like my complexion or lighter. She could tell she's had her lips done. Her lips are so like overly juicy now. Like they're so big. Like, like she's trying to be almost like a batty. She thinks she's a batty now. Her lips were done. You could tell her nose is contoured. Her skin has changed. She's lost a lot of weight, but she's still kind of like bigger but not big.

Like, like she's like bigger than thick, but not like fat. So she's, she's trying to get that fatty aesthetic with the, I don't know if she, I don't think she had a BLI mean, I don't even know if they, I don't think that's still in, but, so like she's lost weight, so she's trying to accentuate the waist. I think she might've taken some things right? Like, because I know they said she's had all kinds of surgeries or whatever, weight loss things she's done. Like her whole, everything has transformed. She's trying to look like based off of the picture and the videos.

'cause my sister found her TikTok and everything. She's trying to look like Aaliyah. I was like, what is happening? She went from like, it was so drastic. It's like comparing, sorry, still a little tired. It's like comparing, I'm trying to think of somebody in the media. It's like going from, I can't think of anybody right now, like Leslie Jones to Beyonce. Like that is how drastic it is.

'cause they have two different, like aesthetics and phenotypes and everything, right? Leslie Jones looks nothing like Beyonce. So, you know, like I said, Leslie Jones is darker. She's bigger. I think she's bigger like her, her features are more Afrocentric. Well actually no, 'cause I think Beyonce's features are, they go in between. So it's just two different aesthetics. So to see what she has died, I mean, you can still tell that's kind of like her, her friend.

I was like, oh my gosh. And then we got onto this conversation about like, well first of all, I was talking to my other sister when I was sitting next to me. She was like, you know, there's like a pill for that. I was like, there's a pill for that. And she was like, yeah. So I'm like, you know, this woman went from bashing women who were thinner, lighter, et cetera, to trying to be this woman.

And it's just sad on so many levels because I feel like as a community, our girls, our women have been told inconspicuously, of course that beauty looks a certain way. And I was like, why? I couldn't believe it. I couldn't stop staring that she did so much to her face to her body so that she looks, she's trying to get away from what she looked like.

And for those of you who may wanna argue with me, I would say argue with yourself. Because I look at what our, our women are doing right now. We cannot get on TV without wearing somebody else's wig. And before you start like fussing at me, I'm not anti wig. The reason why I don't wear wigs is just 'cause I, I don't like, like any, like my head, I, I just can't is makes me gonna itch something. Do you see what I mean? Like, it's just not a thing for me. So I don't care, you know?

That's just where I'm at with it. Look, I have regular old regular black woman hair. You know, I just go with what I got. I got regular old kinky hair. It is what it is. It's how it goes out of my head. You know, I look at these women and in some, in some ways I feel like, you know, I don't like to blame people for why they feel that way. I understand why they're feeling that way, you know, that we want to get rid of everything that makes us who we are.

I look at the women on television, their idea of I gotta get beautiful is let me go get a 24 inch bus bust down. Let me go get a weed, let me go do this. Like anything that looks Afrocentric is not considered beautiful. Like our natural coils and that type of thing. And the, and don't get me wrong, I think in general now I want you to listen to me. It sounds like I'm going to like split hairs. I'm gonna be a, a hypocrite in general.

I think women around the world love to get their hair done and get it like perfectly straight, right? And I don't care what race you are anyway. And then also the ones who have straight hair, all of a sudden they want curls, right? They, they go for the curls because it's something different. I don't think there's anything wrong with straight hair. I may wash and do my hair wear straight today myself because she cuts some of my hair off. So I'm gonna, you know, flux, I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing. But to see these women out here refusing to let their hair be seen, they say they're protecting their hair.

I'm like, you've been wearing your hair in a protective hairstyle for three years and your hair is the same. That means you're not protecting it. What are you protecting it from? At this point? This is what you're doing. You're not wearing it because you're protecting it for a reason. You're wearing it because you're wearing it. Protective hairstyles are like meant for like certain periods of time or whatever. Like you wear it and, and then, I don't know, like, you understand what I mean? Maybe you're rusting your hair or something like that. But these women are not wearing a protective hairstyle. It happens to be for some protective because they don't want to wear their hair right now.

There's gonna be a lot of people saying, oh, 'cause it's easier, this, whatever the reasons are the reasons. But I said what I said. But if you look at what they're doing, they're willing to so-called wear protective hairstyle and, but in the process, rip out all their edges, which is not protecting their hair, by the way, for the sake of seeing that wearing a protective hairstyle and to fit a particular aesthetic. I know. I just feel like the women don't,

Speaker 2 (10m 25s): I

Speaker 1 (10m 26s): Have high self-esteem right now because it's not like they're going out their way to go get a kinky hair with wig right. To and protect their hair with a kinky hair wig. Right? They're not doing that. No, they're not. They don't want to wear their hair because they don't like it. I said, what? I said, they don't like their hair, they don't like it. So with that being said, I say this when she showed me the picture, I'm sorry, like the, the TikTok or whatever it was of this lady, I was like, well, she's never had high cel esteem and she went through so much and now all she does is get out there and try to be like a batty, like this woman is pushing 40 years old and she's trying to at like, she's 25 and she's changed her whole skin tone.

And my sister was talking about how like she always had an issue about her knuckles. I'm like, oh, she's like, she's had dark knuckles and she hated having dark knuckles. So I guess she wants to change. I, I don't know. I know people are gonna get look at this video and say like, how dare you talk about such a topic. I dare because I can, because I'm grown. I'm telling you what I'm observing. And yes, I know I'm not like a super dark woman.

I understand that. But what I will say is, as a black woman, I can't speak to how people feel about their skin tone, but I can speak to the whole hair thing. And here we are so obsessed with trying to have European standards for our hair. I don't think there's anything wrong with having long hair. I don't think there's anything wrong with having straight hair. But we would, we are willing to go through so many, so many hoops are just to fit an aesthetic that's not naturally ours.

And we will harm ourselves. We are willing to harm ourselves to fit an aesthetic. That's not what we are mean to look like. So there are people I'm sure who wanna be brighter than me. I, I can't speak to that. I mean, you know, I have not faced, I have not experienced the negative impacts of colors, right?

I've been exposed to racism. I have not had to deal with someone thinking I was too dark or something like that. I can't speak to that experience, but I can speak to the black woman experience. I can speak to the, the hair saying this, that, and the other. I remember when I cut all of my hair off around 30 and I cried like a big fat baby. I was like a big baby. I was like, you look like a boy. You know, I stayed growing my hair cut and whatever.

Heck of the time I don't even do it. So then I'm like, I should probably take better care of it. So I won't to keep cutting short, but when I take care of it long, it's all the stuff. And I just feel like I know what that's like for black women to have this stranglehold on their hair. Most of America does not even realize that black women have really nice hair. A lot of it's hidden because they have issues with how they are perceived as society. But also for the black women who are out there in these streets, if they were to adopt a hairstyle that did not require them to stretch, I'm so sorry guys.

If they would adopt a, a hairstyle that would not require you, require them to do so much manipulation, whatever, they would probably see much better results. But I see these women out here with these lace wigs. It's ripping out there a little bit of edges. Somebody mentioned to me, you have a lot of edges. I'm like, yeah, because number one, I don't go outta my way that's looking down every day. Number two, I don't wear the least front wigs and stuff. I don't put that kind of tension on my edges. And then when I'm wearing braids, I don't put a lot of tension on my braids So well, or rather, I don't try to have a lot of tension from grades.

I'll say this, I Have worked hard pouring into my daughter about who she is and how beautiful she is. She's got two ponytail puffs on her head right now. They're so cute. She's 12. She's got those. I'll fix those a little bit better today. We're going out, I'm gonna wash her hair this weekend and actually braid her hair. She hasn't had it braided in a while.

And that's because we had to prepare for this tournament and we're gonna be out of town, right? So I don't want to do anything. She's gonna have like a media day and all this stuff. So I don't know what I she's gonna like, and we're gonna go with that. And the reason why is because I don't like traveling with all that crap. Nope. And she's gonna, I'm telling her she still has to wear her helmet. The point I'm making is she, I pour into her so that she wears her hair in puffs.

She wears her hair braided. I don't really let her wear it straight too much because of the sport she's playing. And it just won't last. We wear her regular hair and, and it's good enough. I love the fact that she looks in the mirror and she's like, mom, my eyebrows are so perfect. She loves her lips, her eyes, her like, she look, the girl's got high self-esteem. She's got these light brown eyes.

And I get it. A lot of people like light eyes, but that's what she came out with was, well, she actually came out with gray eyes, but her, her eyes are like brown. She just, and she's got this beautiful brown skin. What? Caramel color. Like she's just a cute girl. She wears her what we call four C hair or kinky hair. And, and she keeps it moving. A lot of times she's rocking the two cornrows. I call 'em the 1980s cornrows, right?

That's just where we're at with it. She doesn't feel the need to be braided, although we're going to braid it this weekend. And that was a decision just because most of the time she's not braided. She's just, we hair in her hair. That's it. I look at these women now, I look at what's in Hollywood. I look at what they consider to be beautiful glam and it's, it feels like it's everything that is not black.

I'm so sorry. That's what I'm seeing. All right. I'm gonna end it there. I wonder if you guys are gonna actually comment on this video. You may or may not. I don't know. But I do know is I gotta go because I keep yawning and I need to just sip on this coffee and yeah, I gotta figure out what I'm gonna do with my hair. Look at this situation. This is a whole situation over here. All right.

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