S5E6 Why are men obsessed with OF girls making money?

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Transcript

Speaker 1 (0s): All right, bows and bow ties. It's been a while since I've gone live from my kitchen. Yo, I'm just looking at my plant over there that has like a gangster lean. I need to rotate it so the sunlight hits it. It it, yeah, it definitely has a gangster wing. So anyway, welcome back to my channel. For those of you who don't know me, I'm the Black Opinionated Woman, also known as a bow. I sound like this because I caught death like a couple weeks ago.

So it's taking quite a bit of time to get rid of what I have. So unfortunately, I'll be sipping from my red mug from years ago when I went to Canada, Niagara Falls with the family. I don't know why I love this mug so much, but yes, I am a US citizen, but I've always loved this Canadian mug. Anyway, so let's get on into it. Yesterday I was at work, and like many of you, I'm sure you guys all have chat functions depending on what you're using, right?

And someone in another building, another location that I knew that I, from like, good Lord, over 20 years ago, we were chatting, you know, just catching up. I haven't seen him in, I can't tell you. Last time I saw this person and he hit me up with this question about why are all of these no men have a question about what do you, what do you need?

Come down. Sorry, this is my sign. I don't like them to be on camera. What do you need? Anyway, so he asked me a question about why are all these OnlyFans women OnlyFans women making so much money or something like that? And he started going in on the OnlyFans women. And let me say this, my question is, why are you concerned about OnlyFans women making money? He was like, don't they know that he was just going down to litany and things like, men aren't gonna marry him.

I said, well, let's not conflate two issues. Them making money is separate from them thinking that men are gonna marry them, but they're like, it's, they're just taking all these men's money. And I'm like, why are the men there? I said, this is the problem that I have. I said, time and time again. Now, let me just say this, rewind this back. About a week, maybe a week or so ago while I was trying to recover from death, I was talking with a different coworker and we, I, I had told him, and he, he paused.

I said, look, one thing about women who look like me is, and I would say women in general, women know how to get in community with each other. So they'll be like, black girl magic or whatever, whatever, girl, I need my rest, whatever. And I said, do you know what happens? And I said, I think this goes across all like racial boundaries too. Women will brunch in a second. We need a brunch. We need a girl. Say, we need this, we need a wine night. We need this. We need that right now. Occasionally men might get together and I don't know, play pool or poker or something, but generally speaking, women know how to be in community with each other.

So I was explaining this to this coworker of mine that women know how to get in community with each other. And I said, what I notice about men, especially men like us, and then I'm gonna circle it back to the OnlyFans. I said, none are not really good about being in community. I'm not saying they can't occasionally get together, paying, wanna go upstairs and fix your buns. That's my daughter. I, i i, it is not that they can't occasionally get together, but what I'm saying is they don't know how to be in community.

If you hear noise in the background, that's just my kids getting ready. They're eating breakfast and getting ready for school. So I was like, you guys have to learn how to get in community with each other. I said, and what happens is when women are feeling certain kinda way, we come together and there's a lot of words of affirmation, all right, we're gonna do this. We uplift each other. There's words of affirmation, and then we have a plan. We put things together and it is kind of like, you see what's happening, what's playing out on TikTok? I'm gonna bring it back to old fans in a second, is playing out and make sure you don't come in my line of sight, okay?

I said, but you, you, what happens is, is playing out on TikTok, they, they came together and formed Human Talk University. And now they're like, not only are we gonna rest away from all this political stuff, but we're also gonna spend some time educating ourselves. So I said, but what I see what men do is they get, they, they get into some of these weird echo chambers And they start pointing out those only things, girls. And they, they, they tear down multiple groups. The man has done this woman that black women is, but instead of pointing the finger at themselves, they say, for every finger you point, there's three more pointing right back at you.

Instead of turning inward and saying, look, we, we need to focus on ourselves. And so the guy that I spoke to at work, he was like, we bring up a good point. So now, anyway, getting back to the only dance conversation, this guy was like, those only dance girls are making so much money. I'm like, they can't make money if people aren't willingly going there. So I'm not co-signing their bad behavior. I said, but why is it that men are always trying to check women? Why aren't you questioning the men?

Question the men, why are you there? Why are you feeding them money? They can't, there wouldn't be a market for it if there was no market for it. They can't make that kind of money if they didn't have men going there. So you are concerned that these women are willingly taking these men's money because these men are willingly going there. They are seeking them out. They are giving them their money and their time and, And they their cycles. And then you're mad because these women are making a bag off of it.

Now, we are not arguing the morality of it. We are not arguing who's more degenerate. I think they're both degenerate. But his whole thing is that they, they're just so this, that and the other. I'm like, but those men clearly want to be there. So instead of worrying about why they're making money, you need to worry about why these men are going there. I said, look, if you notice women are concerned about these OnlyFans women, unless it's like your daughter or something, right? 'cause it's the market's not for me. I don't know.

I can't even tell you what the, the landing page looks like for OnlyFans. I'll probably know what it looks like now 'cause I need to make a thumb a thumbnail for this. But I don't know how to even use, I assume it's an app minimally a webpage, right? That market's not for me. So I'm like, you're so busy being worried about how they're making so much money and you need to worry about why the men continue to go there.

And I said, that's so what's indicative of the problem that a, our community, you're so busy pointing out what everybody's doing wrong, but why are you there? You are wrong for being there. And if all these men stopped patronizing it, there's no market for it. Now, I'm not saying that these women are, you know, standup people or not standup people. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that, you know, this is the example we want for your community.

What I'm seeing is you're so busy pointing the finger at these women and no one is pointing the finger at these men patronizing these women. They're not. So I'm like, you need to start being introspective, looking inwards. Make sure she's not in here. So anyway, he said, well, that's why people aren't gonna marry them. I said, you're conflating the issue. Them being marriage material is separate from your original argument of these women who are out there on OnlyFans making money.

No one's talking about their marriage prospects. And truth be told, these, some of these women are gonna get married too, but that's a whole other issue. Anyway, so he was getting so upset. I'm like, why are you obsessed with these women? He's like, I'm not, I don't care. I'm like, you asked the question. You didn't ask. Why are these men patronizing? You're asking why these women are taking all this money from these men. I'm like, these men are giving it to 'em. That's why they have something that men want.

Ethical or not. The morality of it is not the question. The question was, why are they making so much money? The men are giving it to them. They want to be there, they want to give it to them. They want to patronize these women. So you need to figure out what's going on with these men if there was no market for. And so they're like, well women this. I'm like, well, what about the men? I said, you know, every time I turn around and I hear like these men have these ridiculous conversations, I always wonder about balance. I said, it's really weird and creepy that you're really concerned about OnlyFans women, because I never ever think about them.

I couldn't tell you. Well, I will after today 'cause I gotta steal the OnlyFans logo to make a a thumbnail for this. I know, I didn't even know. I don't, I don't, I don't know anything about the page. I don't, I don't worry about who's on there, what they're making money off of doing. I don't. And let me tell you something. If I had a very moral talent, like if people wanted to watch me drink tea every day on OnlyFans, I would create an OnlyFans and drink tea every day.

Every day. 'cause there was a market for it, right? If you wanna pay me, watch me drink tea. So anyway, the point I'm making is all of these men spend way too much time worrying about what's going on with these women. And I'm like, you need to worry about what's going on with these men. What are you doing? I don't know what my son is doing. But anyway, way over there.

Okay, so anyway, then he started, like I said, he started going on on about like, well, they're just gonna be old and washed up. And I'm like, these men out here are old and washed up. Those are probably ones that are paying these women. Do you think these women care? Do you think they care? Anyway, I just wanted to throw that out there because, and the conversation went deeper than that. And you know, we went back and forth a little bit and then I, we, I mentally checked out and focused on some, some work stuff, but I just thought it was just so weird. Like, every time there's something that comes up, I find that especially men in, in our community, they tend to be so hyperfocused on the other actor or whatever's happening versus focusing on themselves, being introspective, figuring out why are they over there?

How do you fix something? Instead of being focused on how to fix something in the community, they always wanna focus on who is the blame? And it just gets old and tiresome. I'm just kinda like, I was telling the guy like, I don't care. I'm saying that I I like this for the community or anything like that. I, I don't even know who's over there, theon women that are over there, to be honest. But what I do know is you're so busy worrying about the ones who are taking your money versus figuring out why people are giving your money to that type of activity.

I'm like, when are you gonna start being introspective and getting community with men and figuring out how to affirm yourself, not tear down someone else, affirm yourself. You shouldn't have to extinguish the fire someone to like, in order to light your own, right? So I'm finding that they are not affirming themselves. They are denigrating someone else. They're tearing someone else. They're eng engaging in a little bit of shattering fraud when something goes wrong.

Whereas I'm finding in my community, you know, what happens, you know, women look like me. What we'll do is it's not my problem. You guys gotta figure these things out, not for yourselves. We get in community with ourselves, we affirm ourselves, we take a different type of action. Like, okay, it's time to educate ourselves. Now, you know, AKA Hillman talk, right? Hillman talk is, is catching fire. And 92% said, you know what we're gonna do? For those of you who know, you know, the 92%, the 92% said, you know what?

Not only am I gonna take a break from all this other stuff, I'm gonna take the time to learn some new things. It could be financial literacy. I saw a woman got on there last night. She's like, all right, for those of you here ready to learn how to crochet, so you've got crocheting, you've got financial literacy, you've got African American history, you've got history on African American health or learning the things you can do to improve your health. You've got information on, I'm having a brain dump.

There are so many different things, learning about emotional intelligence. And there's these other topics that are actually quite fascinating. And you've got like real professors and just people who are like knowledgeable out there, and they're coming out with like a little syllabus or whatever, And they say, okay, in order to participate in this university class, make sure you read this book or, or whatever, right? But what they're doing is they're taking the time to invest in themselves. And human talk is available for anybody who wants to learn and consume the information.

But what they're doing is they're saying, Hey, I'm gonna invest more in myself. I'm gonna read out the noise. I'm not gonna point the fingers. They're gonna, they would know what they're doing. They're saying, Hey, you guys deal with that. You work it out. We're gonna work on what we need to do for ourselves, uplift ourselves, educate ourselves, take care of our mental health, our our physical health, all those good things, our financial health, right? We're gonna expose ourselves to other information, other information.

When I'm finding, when I talk to people who look like me of the male variety, they want to tear down these other groups and other demographics, which I think is very unhealthy. I'm like, stop it. Because see, when you guys stop patronizing, there will be no market for that. Or at least the market will not be profitable. Worry about yourself. Take care of yourself. Figure out how you're gonna build it with community. You know what you wanna do?

Pull away from those bad activities. Stop feeding it. It kind of goes back to the music. Everybody says, oh, the music is music, music. I'm like, well, stop making the bad music. They're like, that's all that they wanna buy. I'm like, the masses cannot buy the music that is not produced. They're only gonna buy what you're gonna make. But that's what's profitable. Well, now you gotta figure out, do you want profit or do you want morals? Do you want morality? Do you want to be a Steve Harvey who has questionable morals and then he talks about God, but then he, I don't know, sometimes it's like a cognitive dissonance, right?

Well, you got Snoop Dogg out there clowning And they, I think it was Nas, was it Nas, all these other people. It's like, what do you want? It is really what do you want? But if you want to fix the community, it starts with self. It's very grassroots. Stop pointing a finger at other people and start fixing self. Michael Jackson said it best. I'm talking to the man in the mirror, and I mean that literally and figuratively, pun intended.

I'm talking to the man in the mirror. There's things that you can do, but what you don't do is stay hyper-focused on a group of people who are engaging in ridiculous behavior. You start focusing on yourself, fixing yourself. Then you start fixing your community. And then what happens is there is no market for it, or at least the market is greatly reduced. Then people are forced to do other things. And then we can actually start coming together and talking to each other. Like we have some sense.

But right now I'm listening to these men out here in these streets and it's like, y'all can't even lead yourself. You are worried about everybody, so you can't lead yourself. I'm like, this is, I'm not, I'm getting secondhand embarrassment. Even having to tell this, this guy who's older than me and I'm 48. I'm like, you are way too hyperfocused on what these OnlyFans women are doing. Instead of working on these men, I said, men need to stop checking women, men need to check men because they are out of pocket.

Women need to check women. But I'm telling you with the men get right And they start leading. Watch how the community falls in line. Women will actually start to follow and women know how to lead, but women lead because they're forced to lead. But if you sure that you can lead and make good decisions and lift yourself up and build yourself up, women will come around. I'll be like, okay, you got it. Now I can rest because you got it. But right now women are seeing that you don't have it. And the women are out of pocket too, and only pants or whatever.

But that's because there is no leadership. So fix yourself. All right, it's 7 34. I need to sip on my tea, fix my daughter's buns and I'm gonna have a good day. Hopefully the next time you see me, my voice is even better. It's been over two weeks and that's just where I'm at. Oh, by the way, let me just tell you, did y'all hear me scream earlier?

I was comb my hair down and I had a little kitchen situation back here and I went to comb my hair and I was like, ah, chill. It was a situation. I dunno if you guys could see, no, it's not bad back there, but it's just one little, I don't know, but all right. All right, men and women, why am I my head like cock to the side. Here we go. All right, so look, let me know what your thoughts are, and that's all I got. Until next time.