S5E19 Dudes are obsessed with women who date

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Transcript

Speaker 1 (0s): Good morning, Bo here. For those of you who are new to my channel on As black opinionated woman, I was known as a bow. And yeah, let's just get on into it. I, I had reached out to someone who's older about a week or two ago and just catching up and he, I worked with him years ago, but I think he's gonna be retiring soon. So I had asked him questions about his soon to be retirement.

I've known him for a long time. Good guy. And in the process of us having that small talk about like, what do you think you wanna do in retirement? You know, do you think you're gonna stay here? Do you wanna like all these other normal questions that you ask someone now that they are approaching retirement? And what was interesting was I asked like it was more obligatory, but just outta curiosity also, how is your daughter doing? And you know, and I remember him telling me before that it depends on what she does, which determines where they go.

And I didn't know asking that was gonna set him off. I mean, it's actually funny when I think about it now, but like, he basically mentioned that she was not having a lot of success in the dating department. And I said, so my answer was, well, it's tough, you know, for these 20 and 30 somethings right now. So I tend to extend grace to, to men and women because they both are getting after each other.

And I'm the greats, there's so much that goes into it, but I don't wanna tear down men or women in dating. But he was, now he has a whole daughter and he started mentioning about how women have these un unrealistic expectations. Now, I wasn't there for his conversation with his daughter and friends, but he said, women need $200,000, women need $200,000 in order to date.

And I just, I just was like, what? That's not even true. He's like, yeah, that's what all women think, you know, I know he was exaggerating, but I'm like, it's literally not true. You can't say women need $200,000 in order to date. Because if that's the case, we wouldn't have the, the crisis that we have in our community with people dating and not getting married and all sort stuff like that. I was like, it's not true. Women don't think that men have to make at least $200,000 in order to date.

I said, you have to stop graduating that. And he started going on and on and on about, yeah, well it's social media, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, well, stop right there. That's your problem. You believe everything that is on social media. I'm like, you gotta get off of social media. You gotta start using our brain. And you, you know, and I was just kind of like, you gotta stop perpetuating. Like this whole discussion surrounding women are all these things.

I was like, because if you're gonna do that, that opens up a can of worms. All right, now look, I'm getting ready to go through an area where usually my video quality will not be good for a short period. So if you should experience hearing that, just know that it will clear up shortly and don't judge me, okay? I'm taking back roads to get to the, the highway. And I like taking this road anyway because it's scenic.

It's scenic, it's beautiful. Obviously you guys don't have full purview of what I'm seeing here, but it's a, a really beautiful route to the highway. I like this, this route. But anyway, I, I told this man, I said, you know, I just find it weird that you are this caught up on dating. He's like, no, I'm not. No I'm not. I don't really care. I'm like, but you literally do, because you, as a grown old man, I think he's like 60 something.

You're literally having talking points from the blacked out weirdo community on the internet. You know what I'm talking about? Call 'em the wows, the blacked out weirdos, the ones who are talking crazy talk about women. I'm like, both sides are dealing with shenanigans. So anyway, I said, when you start doing that and you start making these bold declarations of women are X, y, and Z, that lets me know you're just as much of a ding dong as the rest of these whacked out weirdos because you're more concerned about what is happening on the internet.

What, what is in social media? It's like, I don't even have it, this, that, and the other. I'm like, you can't sit here and tell me that you don't care about social media when you are speaking all of the whacked out weirdo talking points. Now, I must say this, I have done a good job of cleaning up the algorithm so that I'm not getting much of that, that stuff. Occasionally it'll pop back up, but I don't even want to hear it. I'm like, I'm not even in a dating market. But even when you listen to some of these whack out weird, like, I just don't wanna see, like, I don't, I don't care.

But anyway, so the guy was really like caught up and I was like, seriously, if we're going to open up these can of worms, it is so easy for me to point fingers at men. I said, now as a woman, I recognize that women have some mess about them too, but I am also a woman. I'm not gonna just let men just crap on women, especially when the men in our community are not, you know, standing tall.

Now if it doesn't apply, you most certainly should let this fly, right? Like you shouldn't have a meltdown. Like, well, I'm not one of them. I don't need you to be a pickney. We know that it's not all, so if it doesn't apply, you're gonna have to let it fly. Get out of your feelings. But nevertheless, I was telling him, I said, we've gotta stop having these inflammatory conversations, right? Because none of that's helping. It's, we're so busy pointing at other people.

And I said, let me tell you something for men. I'm gonna tell you from a woman's perspective, what would make a man look attractive is when he says, Hey, I'm interested in doing these things for me versus these women. Ain't this because they did this, that this is what hurt me. And I'm like, stop. If you're gonna lead, then you're gonna lead, lead. But sitting there blaming somebody else for all what ails you?

I'm like, create something. Come up with something different. If you need more money, find ways of earning more income. Get your education is one of the ways you can do that. If you've gotta work 85 jobs, I mean, that's not healthy, but if income is your issue, then be hyper-focused about earning income. Okay? I said if education is your issue, be hyperfocused about obtaining your education.

If you want to create a family, not children, but family, then you need to be hyperfocused on creating a family. You can't tell me you're hyper-focused on creating a family when you're more concerned about what's going on the OnlyFans when you're chasing after just a certain type of woman. And if you know that women want a man of means, depending on the area that you're in or something like that, if that's, that's what they're looking for, that is what the market calls calls for, then you need to be a man of means.

Why do you continue to settle for a level of mediocrity or practice learned helplessness? So I, I basically said like, if you wanna get healthy, then you need to be hyper-focused on getting healthy, whatever that looks like for you. But to sit there and complain about what women are doing and what they won't do, I'm like, you're obsessed with women versus being hyper-focused on how to fix you. It is unattractive to hear these men talk about like, well, women, this women, I'm like, but what are you doing?

What have you done? What have you done to build yourself, build your community, whatever like that. So if you are looking for something, talk about what you're looking for, not about what you don't have. And so one of the things I said to him was, I said, well, what I noticed about women is when women, they get in community really quickly, it's time for a brunch. And let me tell you, I I, I've gone through several of those over in the last few weeks.

You, you get together, you brunch and lunch and all that good stuff. And we check in and we're like, okay girls, what's going on? How are you doing? Right? What's going on? Alright, so what do we need to do? Hey, do you need help with this? Right? So that's what women do Instead, you've got men out here complaining about women getting on podcasts. And he said, well, that's, I'm like, don't say it's not true. It is true. And then he said something about social media. I'm like, did you know that men are on social media more than women?

Not the old dudes. Yes, the old dudes, Hey, will. I'm like, it is. I'm like, so I'm like, don't get on these podcasts talking about women. It's so weird. I, I don't understand. I just don't understand it. But anyway, so the old guy who shall remain nameless, he who shall remain nameless, started going on and on. I'm like, stop right there. It's creepy. You are a weirdo. Stop doing weird things. Do you need to stop being so hyper-focused on women?

I'm like, if you're a whole married man, you know this. I mean, I've heard this from married and unmarried men. My whole big point was he was going on and on and on and talking about his daughter. And I meant to do this video a couple weeks ago, but I was caught up. Caught up. So I'm like, why would you sit there and perpetuate such inflammatory conversations? This is the reason why there is this whacked out weirdo war. So anyway, I told him, I said, don't sit there, tell me that you're not on social media when you are actually repeating all of the social media talking points.

It's weird. Like that's where the whacked out weirdos gotta call them the wows. So nevertheless, circling back to all of us, he got quiet and I, he's like, I don't really care anyway. I'm like, yes you do. Yes you do. Because if I call to, to check in on you to see how you're doing, and somehow you got on this whole conversation about women only need a certain amount of money to, to date and all this, the other stuff, I'm like, it's just weird because it wasn't on my mind. I'm not in the market to look for a woman.

That's so anyway, so he is like, no, no, no, I really don't care. I'm like, you really do. You really do. So I said, men need to stop getting in these like little groups and talking about this kind of stuff. And he tried to say that he, he doesn't do that. I'm like, well, men are doing it because it's not the first time I've heard some guy talk about like, you know, women are this and women are that. I'm like, it's really weird and really creepy that you guys are that hyper-focused on women.

I'm like, if you want to be an upstanding man, what that means is instead of talking about what the women are not and are they are, I want you to start being hyper-focused on what you are and what you want and what you plan to do. And I'm gonna say what I said earlier, back in the beginning of this video, if your issue is income, then you need to be hyper-focused on bringing in income. Not talking about how women are only after your money. I'm like, first of all, you clearly don't have enough, which is why you're like fussing about women coming after your money.

You don't have any money. Go get some. Be focused about increasing your income. If your focus is on finding a family, stop chasing after the Instagram baddies. I'm just saying you need to be focused on doing something else. Find a woman who's going to, you know, be interested in starting a family, whatever. You can't sit there and say there's no good woman out there when you keep going to the same source trying to get a certain type of woman that you probably don't even qualify for anyway.

You gotta call a thing, a thing. If your issue is education, instead of chasing after something, that's not going to give you long-term results. Be hyperfocused on getting your education. It's literally that simple. Get rid of your, your expensive car and get a beater and use that money to go to school. So one of the things that I talk about, I talked about this in the previous video, oh wait, I need to cheat and get over like the rest of these people are doing.

I'm like, look, this is what you need to do. For those of you who are struggling with your lot in life, your station in life, I highly suggest education. Now, I know some of you wanna tussle, you wanna get in these comments or you wanna like disagree with me, but this is where I'm coming from. I've been saying it over and over and over again for I don't know how many years now about education. I am not saying that going to a trade school is bad because college isn't for everyone.

But what I am saying is, at the end of the day, your job can be replaced doing a trade, but they can't take away, they can take away your job. They can't take away your education. And when you have, when you seek your education, it's not just a degree, it's the networking. It's understanding other systems. And so one of the things I tell people is You have economic systems, education systems, computer systems, medical systems.

Your body is a system. It's all related. I say, you get your education, they can take your job. They can't take away your, your education. They cannot. They can't. And so one of the things I keep telling people is they're try trying to push, look, they're trying to push people who are poor or who don't know any better into all these traits.

And the trades are good. I don't have a problem with people learning trade. I say still get your education. I want you to look at what the wealthy people are doing. Are they pushing their children into the trades? No. They're pushing their children to get educated. Why do you think they're taking away all this funding from all these schools? They claim it's for, you know, stop your DEI or whatever it is. It's, look, you guys need to open your eyes, the wealthier putting their kids through school, but they're telling you to put your kid in the trade.

I say, do both. If you, if if you're really, like, if your heart is into this whole trade stuff, then do it. You better still get your education. Anyway, where I'm going with that is stop being focused on women and being more focused on being productive for yourself. Building something, building a legacy for that family that you claim that you want. I, I just find it really weird and creepy that you've got 60 something year old dudes being focused on what women are doing.

A few weeks ago that I, I think I, I made that video on like somebody that, the same guy, I think it was the same guy who was talking about OnlyFans. I can't believe they're making this much money. Why are they, they shouldn't be making, I'm like, why do you care about what they're doing? You shouldn't be on it. I'm not saying he's on OnlyFans, But they shouldn't be making this much money. I'm like, well, the market calls for it. Men need to stop going to OnlyFans. I said, they can make that much money because there's a market for it. There's a market for it, and you're concerned about it.

I'm like, well, well maybe you should, instead of being concerned about there being, these women are making money, maybe you should figure out why there's such a market for it. Maybe you should be work telling these young men, like, what are you missing? Why is that? You need to go to o OnlyFans. But they wanna demon, they wanna denigrate these women. And I'm not saying that they should be lauded and applauded, right? I mean, like, why are you on only vans? I mean, we know why they're OnlyFans.

But, you know, anyway, I, that, that's just where I'm at with it. I just feel like these old guys, I mean, there's another guy who's pushing 60 talking about eliminate this, eliminate that. And I'm, and I'm surprised. I'm like, ew. It's just weird when you got 60-year-old men talking about they're the prize. I'm like, all you want now is a woman to be with you. You want a hospice wife? Shut up. It's just weird.

It's just weird. Like, I just don't understand it. It's just really weird and people need to focus on something else. All right, so look, that's all I got. I hadn't been on in a while. I meant to do this video like a week or two ago, but I, I, I guess I just was, just caught up. I didn't feel like talking, I thought about doing a different video today, but I chose not to because I don't know. I know. I don't know why I didn't do it today.

So, but all right. Look, this is a good time for you to subscribe my channel because I'm amazing in every way. Practically do no wrong, and then in full hypocritical fashion, you need to stop watching all those other podcasters and just watch mine. All right. Hopefully you'll have a good day today. I take my son for his first flying lesson email. All right, have a good one.

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