S5E30 Just Me Being Entitled and a Karen

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Transcript

Speaker 1 (0s): All right, black of pain, native women here, also known as FL. It's been a while. It's been a while. I had to take some time to myself, you know, I had to take care of myself. I've been busy. There's a lot going on. But yeah, I just wanna talk about, you know, the state of the community. Oh my gosh, I didn't even wanna have a conversation centered around anything with blackness. But long story short, I was out and my vehicle would not start.

I have another vehicle that I use when I'm transporting my kids to their sports and stuff like that, just in case, because I don't, like, if they smell, I don't know. It stresses me out. But I like my car, car wouldn't start. Luckily my husband's nephew was around to try to help me. He thought my, he thought it might, we thought it might have been the battery, but it clearly was not the battery. 'cause it was trying to turn over and then it would die. So, this is what I noticed when I was having some car troubles.

I called my husband, but unfortunately he's out of town with my daughter, right? So they're not local. So he couldn't get to me timely. And what I noticed were men who did not look like me or people, whatever, they were willing to help, they were willing to help. So the men who did not look like me were willing to step in, see if I needed assistance, let me tell you who were not willing to help. The men who looked like me, they actually sat around and just watched.

And I thought that was quite interesting. So I'm not necessarily a damsel, but now I, I got my son because I, you know, he had, he had just finished practice, but I can't get him home because my cough won't start. My husband can't help me because he is outta town with my daughter. So now he's like, you want me to come there? I'm like, you are not gonna get here anytime soon. I might as well just deal with it here. But his nephew was trying to help out.

So then what he ended up doing was taking, like, taking us home so I can get my other vehicle, right? So I came back to the, you know, scene of the crime and had to wait for the tow truck. Interestingly enough, what was interesting was I noticed that, you know, maybe another black woman was willing to help. And even one white woman actually shot me a text message that I knew from the team.

She was like, Hey, do you need to give you a ride? But what I noticed were the men who looked like me were not interested in helping. Not that I've done anything to anybody or anything like that. It was always white men. The white men. So the, the tow truck comes, they're loading up my car, I'm looking at my baby, get on this truck so we can go nine plus miles or so and drop it off, you know, so they can look at why is my car curing out?

The tow truck guy happened to not look like me. Very nice. We even cracked a couple of jokes, blah, blah, blah. He was very helpful. Okay, we get to the dealer now, it's late. So they've already closed everything up. And there were these men that come out. One was white and one was black. The black guy is asking all these questions like, well, where's your husband? And I'm sitting there thinking like, a, it's none of your business. Although he's out, you know, with my daughter, they're at a tournament and he's not local.

And then he's like asking all these questions about where's my ring? And all this stuff. The white guy was more like, okay, so this is how you're gonna move forward. I want you to go ahead. We're gonna have the tow truck, they're going to place your car here, put it right here. And then over there there's a key drop, whatever. Because they had just shut down, you know, the facility. So they were walking to their cars and he was more trying to say, okay, this is what you're gonna need to do, blah, blah, blah. Do you need anything? Da da, da, da. And I'm sitting here thinking like, what is wrong with this scenario?

What is wrong with this picture? What is wrong? What is happening? All of the people who were willing to help did not look like me. The men outside the one that kept trying to holler, they did nothing. The ones that looked like me did nothing. And I was just kind of like, oh my goodness. I remember when I was talking to my daughter about like one day, who she's gonna wanna marry or whatever, and she's like a black guy. And I asked her, well, why?

And she was just kind of like, I don't know, like, I think maybe I have more in common. And I told her, this is probably true. I'm sure it's true. I said, however, don't close yourself off to just one type of man. Be open to anyone who's going to love you and rock with you and support you and wants to see you be the best version of who you can be because you don't know how that's gonna come packaged for you. And it may not look like a man who looks like you.

You can have a preference, but I said, ultimately you want to just be open to whoever loves you and wants to protect you and wants to lift you up. You know? And also you may find more common with someone who doesn't look like you. Right? Someone who's gonna make you feel like a million dollars.

And she took that to heart. I mean, 'cause she didn't really know what she was saying. She was just like, I don't know, maybe. And I, I was like, well, what does that mean? I'm asking her the kind of guy that maybe one day, now she's young, but she was just like, and I, I think the reason why she mentioned a black guy was more, because where we are, there aren't that many. And I think she doesn't, excuse me, see many men that look like her as far as where we live.

Now, oddly enough, she's actually changing schools next year. So she will be an environment where she will see a lot more men who look who look like her because we're moving her into a private institution. Nevertheless, after all of that last night, you know, I was like kind of feeling some kind of way, and it wasn't like I was a damsel, but everyone else was like, okay, how can I help you?

Can I offer you a ride? Even though I wasn't, you know, they were like, let me check to see if there's something I can do. Maybe this is, this is or is not a battery. I don't know. All kinds of things. Okay, so this is what you're probably gonna do. Like, hey, you know, you can take it here. And, and I knew where I was, but they, it was everyone else that was interested in being helpful. But when I looked at the men who looked like me, I was just like, yeah, this, this isn't it.

They were just sitting around watching and I was just so turned off and I was just like, I'm so glad I gave my daughter that advice just maybe a week or so ago. I'm like, you're into men who are into you, who care about you, who wanna protect you. Now, of course, my husband, had he been local, we, he would've come, we would've like traded cars and all kinds of, you know, whatever, right? And he would've just taken care of the toe, you know? But he's outta town with my daughter, so he can't be in two places at once.

Now he's trying to check out the hotel. I'm like, by the time you get here, because it wasn't local, I'm like, this will be handled. Like, it doesn't make sense for you to make a, a little short odyssey back to me when I can handle this. And I can, I appreciate the fact that he's willing to do that, because he doesn't want me just being out there like that. And of course, you know, his nephew was able to just drop us off home and, and I could get my car and it, it, it all worked out, right?

I mean, it was inconvenient, but it worked out. But to see men who look like me, And they very well may not have been like American black men. They may have been from like the continents or something like that, right? To sit, see them sitting there watching. And I've got men who don't look like me stepping up like, Hey, what's going on? I see this, that, and the other. Or women who's like, you want me to give you a ride? You want me to do this?

I'm like, no, I was able to get my other car. Thank you so much. I just wanna make sure I followed up to the place that's taken care of. I, I, I was just experiencing secondhand embarrassment because they were just not giving. And I am so glad I had that conversation with my daughter because I'm looking at many of these men right now, and, and I'm just like, these, I, I grew up with men who did that type of thing. So I have a different experience on what manhood should look like.

And what I saw was that, wasn't it, like I, that's just, I don't know, like in my family, that's just, yeah. And so, and that's how my husband is. He would've been like, Hey, if he had been here, you know, like normally he would've been like, Hey, you sit tight. Hold on a second. Let me come, blah, blah, blah. I got this. We'll do this. Whatever it is. I don't know. Go take Caleb home. That's my son's name. Go take him home, so on and so forth. Come back, come get me or whatever.

I don't know, it would've handled the whole thing, but I, I, anyway, so I just wanted to just get that out there. I know I'm acting fully entitled because that's just how I feel. I wanted to be a full on caring, but, and just like, 'cause I saw people looking and I'm like, it never once occurred to you to say, Hey, is everything okay? I, I'm telling you, I, and look, I'm trying to raise men.

I don't know if I'm doing a good job, but I definitely don't want my, my boys, my young men to be like, who I saw yesterday. And some of these guys are like middle aged, these are like middle aged men just sitting there. Never once said, are you okay? That took me out, took me, just took me out. I was so, turned off. But the men who don't look like me, they're like stepping up their car and they're trying to do things, they're trying to figure things out.

Let's take a look, blah, blah, blah. And they're like, I'm so sorry. I don't think this is a battery issue. I was like, yeah, I wasn't sure if this was a battery issue either, but the fact that they were willing to explore and to see how they could assist. Anyway, So yeah, I, I was turned off. And when I think about the state of the community, how the men and women who look like me clearly don't like each other, because those men, they were not stepping up.

It was a whole bunch. It's just other people. So yeah, I just wanna let you guys let that one sink in. Look, y'all could say what you want about me, but this happened. These are facts. This actually happened. And so I don't know what other conclusion I should have drawn from that. Okay? So if you are gonna be mad that I said what I said, then you're gonna have to fight with yourself. I don't feel like fighting.

You wanna know why? Because I've been scratching my legs from mosquito bites that I don't even know where they came from. I got a call in to figure out what's going on with my car. And that's pretty much it. So, okay, that's all I got. And if you guys have a comment, go ahead and leave a comment, but I'm curious to think or to hear what your thoughts are on that scenario.

And, all right, until next time.

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